I went to put my Dad to bed Saturday night. First I have to recount this interaction with my kids that made me smile.

Kids and Their Truth and Social Rules

I told them that I would be gone in the evening and that I would be taking care of Pop. That last time when they came it was a bit challenging, so they would stay home with Dad. Tyler cheers, “Hooray, we don’t have to put Pop to bed! We don’t have to go see Pop!” Quinn begins to follow suit and I hear Tyler say, “or, uh, maybe i shouldn’t have said that…”

I just turned around and said, “Tyler, I love you.” I had to visit a Great Grandparent when I was his age and I remember how I didn’t really look forward it. It is hard sometimes for them to visit with someone when it is difficult to connect. And at bedtime, they really can’t do much, but wait. It is much better during the day when they can play catch and such with him. I appreciated that he reflected and realized that maybe he shouldn’t have spoken that truth out loud. There was a window into a growing child figuring out the social rules.

So This is My Dad Right Now

When I arrived, I walked in and my Dad was walking around the halls…with one house shoe in his hand.
YouTube link (faster and easier to watch):

Click on the image below to view my copy – only do this if the YouTube one is unavailable because it will load much more slowly.

Every dementia patient takes on a different personality as they decline. I think a big part of that is the type of dementia that they are afflicted with and what parts of the brain are being attacked first. This video definitely represents a part of who my Dad used to be. I was the daughter he doted on, so I am fortunate to get these moments. The big bear hugs are gone, but now I get a song and dance. And it does make me smile.

Then we walk to his room, him with house shoe in hand. When we enter, I see that he has placed each pillow on a folding chair and his light is turned upside down. I guess he was trying to figure out how to turn it on. He wanted to show it to me, but was very confused. I helped him fix it and he seemed happy that is was right again.

I could not find his other house shoe anywhere in his room. We even went on a “house shoe hunt” walk after I got him in his PJs to see if we could find it. I found out later from my Mom that I should have checked all the drawers in his room. Ah…note to self.

Usually at night, my Dad watches concerts on DVD. He is long past being able to follow any kind of talking. But he always loved music and concerts. My Mom has amassed a vast library of his favorite artists – Bee Gees, Garth Brooks, Rod Steward, Cher and Celiene Dion (I think the latter two are more for my Mom! .

So I sat with Dad and watched Rod Stewart. A bit off topic, but I have to say how cool it was to watch the crowd – an older crowd thoroughly enjoying reliving the songs of their youth – singing and dancing. It was so cool to see. I love concerts – the shared experience of music is so incredible.

While we are watching, I look my Dad’s life in a frame that my Mom had put together. I wonder if it even means anything to him at this stage. If anything it lets caregivers know who he was and reminds us too. There was an episode about 6 months ago where he was very upset/sad. One of the main caregivers helped him back to his room and he pointed to the picture of his sister in the frame – she died about 14 years ago. He must have relived something and was really upset.

The nurse comes in and gives Dad his meds and we watch for about 10 more minutes. Before I put Dad in bed, I try to get him to go to the bathroom for the 3rd time, but no dice. Also learned from my Mom to turn the faucet on – that trick really does work. Note to self… Hopefully he doesn’t have an accident.

Dad goes right to bed and at 7:30pm at night I walk out to my car. Saturday nights are the only nights I can do this, so it doesn’t happen every week. But when I can, I go. It is peaceful and very restful and I enjoy my time alone with him.

I don’t know if I am any closer to dealing with this detachment that I am feeling, but I am not going to harp on it. I would rather just have these memories to hold onto.

from November 1, 2010

It is like Christmas around here the day after Halloween since the sugar sprite visits! This year the kids really seemed to enjoy what she left them.

Spin Art Fun!
Quinn received a spin art maker. She really enjoyed squirting the pain and then making the holder spin. Tyler also got in on the action and together they made about 6 cards each. I wasn’t sure what to do with them and finally decided to bind them together in a small book. So I made them each a small book of their spin art creations.

Lego Catapult!
Tyler was excited about his catapult and wanted to make a movie of himself shooting it, so I obliged. Here is a picture of his catapult and his movie.

Catapult Movie
YouTube link (faster and easier to watch):

Click on the image below to view my copy – only do this if the YouTube one is unavailable because it will load much more slowly.

I am posting Chris’ post below…..

We have a future athlete in our family. The Holiday weekend started with Tyler running the first full mile (and then some) of the Turkey Trot with me (and then walking the remaining four miles as well). On Sunday afternoon, just one day after we put the pedals on his big-boy bike, Tyler is now riding a bicycle all by himself.

This is amazing to us – Tyler is four years and three weeks old. He received his Trek Float as an early birthday present on November 9th. He has been out learning his balance (the Float allows the pedals and crank arms to be easily removed – the point is that kids learn to ride faster by focusing on balance first without learning to depend on training wheels) for the last three weeks, probably no more than 3-4 times a week. This weekend, he asked to try his pedals, so we put them on and took him out Friday. He and I spent about 10 minutes tops. He did OK – going almost an entire house-length at one point – but was very unsteady and didn’t seem terribly into it. On Sunday, he wanted to try again. This time, within about another 10 minutes of practice, he was consistently going 3-4 house-lengths each time before needing to put his feet down.

Amazing – with basically 20 minutes practice with the pedals, he finished the day zipping up and down the street and around our block. He even learned how to use the end of driveways to give him enough momentum to get his feet on his pedals and moving. Now we just have to figure out how to keep him on the sidewalks and near the house

Here’s the proof: (click the image, may take a while to download):

One of the many things I adore about Quinn is that while having an older sibling who very much influences her, she also does her OWN thing. As is the case with the bed jumping – she has her own style. One that looked so fun, that Tyler adopted it as well!

(and notice how in the second, Quinn decides to put the kabash on the hand holding..”do myself, do myself!”)

The videos might take a while to load – be patient – they are really fun!

Earth Day was approaching and I was telling Tyler that we would have to sing “Happy Earth Day” (sung like Happy Birthday) to the earth. That got my thinking about birthday parties and so I thought – let’s have an Earth Day party!! And do we did. I had a lot of acitivites planned and in true toddler fashion, we didn’t get to them all. But we did go for a nature walk, make pinecone bird feeders for the birds to enjoy a treat, and of course had a cake with candles and all. It was a nice afternoon – Tyler was very excited by it and a few days later you can still hear Quinn singing “Happy Earth-day”. As the kids age, I am sure our celebrations will be a bit more earth-conscious (cleaning up iltter at a park, etc), but for now, just bringing awareness to Mother Earth and how we live in community with her is enough for a wee one. Here is some video of the kids singing….

A treat for the birds on Earth Day

A video of the kids singing “Happy Earth Day!”

OUr crazy, sweet girl. I was talking about all these social slang words she uses. It cracks us up. The other day she came into the den where I was. She was coughing and it sounded like maybe some water had gone down the wrong pipe or something. I asked her, “Are you okay, baby?” She responds mattere-of-factly, “Yup. Coughing.” And with that toots back out of the room. And right there you have Miss Quinn – it is all cool and she is doing her own thing.

She is also an efficient communicator. She has picked up the “you’re welcome” part of the gratitude equation, but she like to take care of that for you. So she may come up to me and say, “berry, please.” I will get one for her and she will respond in this fast staccato, “tink you, welcome”.

One of her favorite things lately is playing “monkey” where she climbs up your body and then stands on your shoulders. She will say “do it again!!” over and over and over. Quite a work out. I must not here that she learned the phrase” do it again” from Tyler and uses it all the time. Tyler was more of a “more” guy himself.

What follows is a video of the madness that takes place in my kitchen on a regular basis. I received my copy of The Creative Family and have been inspired to try and harness their want to be in the kitchen with me a bit more. They want to be in there cooking with me and if they can’t help at the moment, I could always take my mounds of veggies trimmings and whatnot and let them create their own dish. Spices are cheap…I need to let them begin to have more fun and really sink intio the enjoyment of cooking and creating in the kitchen…

Here is Quinn blowing bubbles – I think she watched her brother doing this and had to try it….

Quinn has learned to empty her water into her food from watching her brother do it at almost every meal. I think he started doing it to cool down his food. Now it is random, some days it is pure mischief, some days I think he is having fun mixing food together, and some days I think his food is just hot. Quinn also enjoys climbing on the table. She enjoys stirring with a spoon and mixing stuff. Here she is mixing some water into a bowl of salsa..I think she is “making soup” here.