Yesterday Tyler told me, “I am so glad you guys got married…I love you.”   {sniff}   That was sweet…..

Yesterday, Tyler wanted an apple…and so naturally Quinn decided she wanted one too.  The kids took their apples and headed back to Tyler’s room.  I was in the kitchen and needed to get something from the office.  On my way there, I passed Tyler’s room and heard the following from Tyler”

“Quinn, when I am an adult, I am not going to marry you because..I don’t like the things you are doing right now.”

{I pause}  Apparently, he was wanting her to play a game with a large cardboard tube and she either didn’t want to play with him or wasn’t doing exactly what he wanted her too.   I leaned in and told Tyler that one really doesn’t marry his sister, but usually someone else and that Quinn will always be his sister.  And I left it at that.   Cracked me up….

Said to me by Tyler the other night:

“Mom, when I am an adult, I am going to miss you.”

Tyler, you melt me…..

So I was getting Quinn read for bed tonight.  I don’t remember what she said, but whatever it was prompted me to respond with, “Quinny, you crack me up!”.

Quinn then says, “I not crack you up Mama, I love you.”    My sweet, sweet angel girl.

Why? Because it is calm there. Everything is still there while life whirls crazily around me. Life is good, but busy and so much is going on.

On one hand, there is everyone else’s life going on.

- My Dad is going into an Alzheimers Home this week. Yes, he is 60 and being put in a home. It is a sad disease he has and has convinced me that I will terminate my life when the right time comes if I am diagnosed with any kind of brain degeneration. Oddly enough, my Mom and I are having caregiver guilt at the same time as I am putting my kids in a program 2 days a week and she is putting my Dad in.

- I had a friend who thought she might have an aneurysm. Those freak me out as I saw two friends go through that with their Moms. One friend’s Mom died on the way to the ER when my friend was 7 yrs old. I went to the funeral, we were in second grade together. The whole thing left a huge impression on me. Another friend was in college when her Mom had one and survived, but had to have her frontal lobe removed. Her Mom would be 8 yrs old for the rest of her life and my friend would become her caregiver. The good news is that today we found out she is fine! She didn’t post what was causing those terrible headaches, but I hope that they find out.

- I am entering that time in my life where marriages are starting to deteriorate. That is a new phase for me. It is so sad, but as I am learning, each situation is so completely different. Some I could see coming and some I couldn’t. One of the crappier sides to life. In the end I hope everyone ends up happy. I have seen people divorce and their lives end up in way better places than they could ever imagine. That is what I hope for my friends.

Oh, and in talking to Chris about his job today, Tyler says, “that’s just life.” to something I said. I promptly told him he was too young to say that. Anyway, it is weird to be an observer sometimes – there isn’t anything i can do, but support where appropriate.

Then there is my life about to go on…

I say about because nothing starts in earnest for another two weeks. And so I can feel myself just waiting. Waiting for the shift, waiting for the wave to carry me. Waiting for the time.

1. Kids start school. That will be a really nice break. I plan to spend most of my time exercising, working on house projects that need to get finished, and planning stuff for the kids. I will have my one small job, but I would love another way to earn some money. Not that I have time, but who needs time? I realize that the cost of putting the kids in school goes way beyond the tuition because I will have more time and that will cost money – yoga classes, a meal out with a friend here and there, supplies for projects. It is actually cost effective to have the kids at home because things get done so slowly, you spend your money slowly! :-p

2. Monday Morning Co-op Starts. It will initially be for just 2/2.5 hours in September, but in October we will extend it to a full day from about 9:30 to 3pm. Although it will be a bit much with the kids in school, it will really help me dip my toes into the homeschooling waters and see what I think. I have started examining my many ideas and emotions around schooling for the kids. I want to really understand the reason for my choices and make sure it is best for the kids and for our family. The co-op will be parent/child based, at my house and based on Enki Education. If we do homeschool, this will be our base community.

3. BFC Office Manager Job – Our director is back from vacation, so my job will begin in earnest now. I am really looking forward to it. Fall registration will be starting soon, so I will be busy with that and a whole host of other things. It is neat to help grow a business and begin to formalize processes and operations.

Waiting for the season to shift

I feel it most when it comes to my cooking. I have had the best time cooking this summer. I have enjoyed the summer veggies and all the new, exciting recipes. Suddenly, that excitement has waned and I feel so unmotivated. And I realized that I am ready for the next harvest. I am in line with the earth, because the CSA just emailed that we are at the end of our summer harvest and that things will be lean for the month of August. I have been ordering some from the Soup Peddler and just trying to keep the meals simple around here. Chris and I love fall, so we are just waiting, waiting, waiting.

Surviving the Summer

I think Chris and I have done a good job getting through the summer. Kayaking has been really helpful and a wonderful discovery for our family. Also spontaneity has been crucial.

The other night we were going to do a repeat of our sunset kayak trip. We left the house late and I just felt that Chris and I didn’t have it in us. So we went to Jo’s Downtown and got lattes, then parked at Auditorium Shores. We started walking towards Congress Bridge and thought about maybe seeing if we could catch the bats. Sure enough we waited for about 20 minutes and then got to see them. The kids thought they were about 5 minutes of cool. Chris has never seen them come out from so close and from that perspective (we were under the bridge). And of course, dusk in the city is so damn cool. I wanted to stash the kids and go get a drink with Chris at the Hyatt.

This past weekend we took the kids to the Children’s Museum. I didn’t realize that Chris had never been, so Daddy had a great time playing with the kids.

Also with the kids starting school, we have been getting Grandparents to take the kids on the weekends. Chris and I have been having all these fun dates – we went Kayaking together on Town Lake, had coffee with friends and just this weekend saw the Dark Knight at the IMAX theater with friends. It has been really nice to spend time together as a couple.

That is where I am in a nutshell. I have so many other things I want to post about, but I have some other to-do’s that require my attention…

There is a reason that my children are media free right now – images are powerful. So today Tyler is messing with the radio in out room (it usually plays static when Quinn sleeps) and Tyler hears a talk show about hurricanes. I can here it too and remember that there is a tropical storm in the Gulf.

Well, I bring Tyler in to the computer and say we will check out the radar. See I am a weather dork and have already gotten my son into checking the doppler radar when anything is going on weather-wise. Well, I head over to the weather channel and there is a weather forecast video. So I pop up the video so we can here the forecast.

While I was in disposed, Tyler clicked around on some other videos on the left about hurricanes. And watches one that talks about the damage they do. He sees a roof get blown off, talk about glass windows breaking and talk about houses being damaged. At this point I am at the computer and pretty much shut off the videos. He wanted to see more, but i told him I thought he had seen enough.

The rest of the day was all about hurricanes. He was really scared about them and I kept telliing him we were far away from where they are. He kept saying, “I know!” I realized that he was worried about the people who were near the storms and I think still worried about us. Especially when he heard Port Aransas mentioned because that is where we head to the beach.

Well, when Daddy gets home, he starts up again. He goes to the computer and shows Daddy the Hurricane Tracking map and is asking Chris about it. Then Tyler says this, “is that the sad path where the people were?” My sweet boy – he is so concerned. Then there he was asking about glass breaking and “the glass could poke through people?”

Wow – he is really thinking all this out. What can happen? What will happen to the people and the houses? And we told him that the people would go to safer places and they would not be there for the storm. I think there was a part about the county police making preparations because then he wanted to know what would happen to the fire and police people.

Part of me has to laugh that of all places – it was the Weather Channel whose images freaked my child out. No, it wasn’t the movie Red Dragon (Hannibal Lector) that was on at the mail place that he stared at 1 minute before the people realized they needed to mute it. And the part he saw was scary, but he never said word on about it.

Part of me melts for my child who is so worried about everyone else. My child that these days seems to self-centered is showing a wealth of compassion and concern. I told Chris I thought he might have nightmares because he was really, really concerned.

Tomorrow the storm will make landfall, but I may just not say anything lest he catch an image that reinforces any fears or concerns. Every day is an adventure – you never know what you will be presented with….

Here is one of my favorite conversations to date. Some backstory first though. Quinn fell on the driveway and skinned her knee. It was a pretty decent scrape and she was fairly upset. A bit later we are sitting on the living room floor. Quinn is sitting there telling me, “my knee hurts” and the decides, “I’m going to hug it” and so she sits there holding her knee.

Tyler starts offering her things and here is what was said:

T: “Quinn, would you like some scissors?”

Q: “My knee hurts.”

T: “Would you like this paper?”

Q: “No. My knee hurts, Tyler.”

T: “Would you like some crayons?”

Q: “My knee hurts, Tyler.”

T: (very matter of factly) “I know that, Quinn. I know that.”

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After talking to Susan, I give the phone to Tyler. They say maybe one or two things and then I hear Tyler tell Piper, “I can’t talk to you right now Piper, I have to go poop.”

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Tyler asked the other day, “If I eat a lemon seed, will I turn into a lemon?” He is very interested in play on words these days. Another recent question, “Do slippers make you slip?”

And the wordplay continues with Grandma in this nugget from Tyler, ” P can be a letter or it can come out of my penis…and your penis, Grandma.”
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The other morning Quinn and I let Chase out and then walked out into the backyard. Quinn tells me, “singing Mama, singing Chase.” She was telling me that the birds were singing to Chase. Such a sweetie!!

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One day we were eating lunch and Quinn wasn’t touching her food. So Tyler started asking her if she liked any of the food on her plate and a new game was born!

T: “Quinn, do you like apple?”

Q: “Nooo.”

T: “Quinn, do you like avocado?”

Q: “Nooo.”

T: “Quinn, do you like carrots?”

Q: “Nooo.”

(and from here silliness ensued)

T: “Quinn! Do you like dog hair??” (starts giggling)

Q: “Nooo!” (also giggling)

T: “Quinn! Do you like grass??” (starts giggling)

Q: “Nooo!” (also giggling)

T: “Quinn! Do you like poop??” (poop has to make its way in there)

Q: “Nooo!”

(and so it went. They were having quite a jolly time….)

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We went to an awesome birthday party at Pump It Up the other day. I asked Tyler if he had a good time. He said, “yeah!” And then Quinn chimes in with her very excited, low kind-of growling voice, “I had good time, too!!!”

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Quinn was in the living room upset about something and Tyler told me, “I don’t like Quinn’s crying.” I replied, “It is hard to hear her crying. Do you feel sad or worried about her? ” Tyler replied very matter-of-factly, “It makes me upset….I am going to go hit her.” and starts to scoot of the bench.

*sigh*

It was kind of pretty funny they way he said it…. but no Tyler, hitting her isn’t going to stop her from crying. And this is fairly representative of where we are right now and how he solves stuff these days. Yay for testosterone. We are working on healthy outlets for our emotions ….

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Quinn was looking at the shirt she was wearing and said, “I got a heart on me!”

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Another day, she was at the table and the sun was shining through the window. She tells me, “on my back, sun peeking out on my back”.

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Quinn is very curious and asks full questions now, “what are you drinking?”, “what are you doing?”, sometimes when I have just finished a conversation with someone, Quinn will ask, “what are you talkin’ ’bout?” as we walk away. I love how she asks her questions too. She will lean in very close and even bend forward a bit – whatever she has to do to get close to your face and make eye contact, then she will ask her question.

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Daddy and Tyler are a unit for Quinn – she often refers to them as Daddy/Tyler. She has also taken to calling my Mom just “Havel”.

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The other day Tyler was asking about dams. I said something like, “that is a good question” or “I wonder..” Tyler answers me with, “a dam has a long wall with a couple of openings that let the water through.” I think he saw this with Daddy when they went kayaking all the way to the damn past Red Bud isle. Nevertheless, I was impressed with his thorough description.