Why? Because it is calm there. Everything is still there while life whirls crazily around me. Life is good, but busy and so much is going on.

On one hand, there is everyone else’s life going on.

- My Dad is going into an Alzheimers Home this week. Yes, he is 60 and being put in a home. It is a sad disease he has and has convinced me that I will terminate my life when the right time comes if I am diagnosed with any kind of brain degeneration. Oddly enough, my Mom and I are having caregiver guilt at the same time as I am putting my kids in a program 2 days a week and she is putting my Dad in.

- I had a friend who thought she might have an aneurysm. Those freak me out as I saw two friends go through that with their Moms. One friend’s Mom died on the way to the ER when my friend was 7 yrs old. I went to the funeral, we were in second grade together. The whole thing left a huge impression on me. Another friend was in college when her Mom had one and survived, but had to have her frontal lobe removed. Her Mom would be 8 yrs old for the rest of her life and my friend would become her caregiver. The good news is that today we found out she is fine! She didn’t post what was causing those terrible headaches, but I hope that they find out.

- I am entering that time in my life where marriages are starting to deteriorate. That is a new phase for me. It is so sad, but as I am learning, each situation is so completely different. Some I could see coming and some I couldn’t. One of the crappier sides to life. In the end I hope everyone ends up happy. I have seen people divorce and their lives end up in way better places than they could ever imagine. That is what I hope for my friends.

Oh, and in talking to Chris about his job today, Tyler says, “that’s just life.” to something I said. I promptly told him he was too young to say that. Anyway, it is weird to be an observer sometimes - there isn’t anything i can do, but support where appropriate.

Then there is my life about to go on…

I say about because nothing starts in earnest for another two weeks. And so I can feel myself just waiting. Waiting for the shift, waiting for the wave to carry me. Waiting for the time.

1. Kids start school. That will be a really nice break. I plan to spend most of my time exercising, working on house projects that need to get finished, and planning stuff for the kids. I will have my one small job, but I would love another way to earn some money. Not that I have time, but who needs time? I realize that the cost of putting the kids in school goes way beyond the tuition because I will have more time and that will cost money - yoga classes, a meal out with a friend here and there, supplies for projects. It is actually cost effective to have the kids at home because things get done so slowly, you spend your money slowly! :-p

2. Monday Morning Co-op Starts. It will initially be for just 2/2.5 hours in September, but in October we will extend it to a full day from about 9:30 to 3pm. Although it will be a bit much with the kids in school, it will really help me dip my toes into the homeschooling waters and see what I think. I have started examining my many ideas and emotions around schooling for the kids. I want to really understand the reason for my choices and make sure it is best for the kids and for our family. The co-op will be parent/child based, at my house and based on Enki Education. If we do homeschool, this will be our base community.

3. BFC Office Manager Job - Our director is back from vacation, so my job will begin in earnest now. I am really looking forward to it. Fall registration will be starting soon, so I will be busy with that and a whole host of other things. It is neat to help grow a business and begin to formalize processes and operations.

Waiting for the season to shift

I feel it most when it comes to my cooking. I have had the best time cooking this summer. I have enjoyed the summer veggies and all the new, exciting recipes. Suddenly, that excitement has waned and I feel so unmotivated. And I realized that I am ready for the next harvest. I am in line with the earth, because the CSA just emailed that we are at the end of our summer harvest and that things will be lean for the month of August. I have been ordering some from the Soup Peddler and just trying to keep the meals simple around here. Chris and I love fall, so we are just waiting, waiting, waiting.

Surviving the Summer

I think Chris and I have done a good job getting through the summer. Kayaking has been really helpful and a wonderful discovery for our family. Also spontaneity has been crucial.

The other night we were going to do a repeat of our sunset kayak trip. We left the house late and I just felt that Chris and I didn’t have it in us. So we went to Jo’s Downtown and got lattes, then parked at Auditorium Shores. We started walking towards Congress Bridge and thought about maybe seeing if we could catch the bats. Sure enough we waited for about 20 minutes and then got to see them. The kids thought they were about 5 minutes of cool. Chris has never seen them come out from so close and from that perspective (we were under the bridge). And of course, dusk in the city is so damn cool. I wanted to stash the kids and go get a drink with Chris at the Hyatt.

This past weekend we took the kids to the Children’s Museum. I didn’t realize that Chris had never been, so Daddy had a great time playing with the kids.

Also with the kids starting school, we have been getting Grandparents to take the kids on the weekends. Chris and I have been having all these fun dates - we went Kayaking together on Town Lake, had coffee with friends and just this weekend saw the Dark Knight at the IMAX theater with friends. It has been really nice to spend time together as a couple.

That is where I am in a nutshell. I have so many other things I want to post about, but I have some other to-do’s that require my attention…

Kayaking on LadyBird Lake at sunset with hubby and the kids.

No one on my shoulder bringing me fears Got no clouds up above me bringing me tears Got nothing to tell you I got nothing much to say Only I’m glad to be here with you On this heavenly heavenly heavenly heavenly heavenly day - Patty Griffin

Writhing - that is what I have been doing lately. I am wanting out of my shell in a big way. Those vacations can’t come soon enough. So this 4th, I told Chris we should go see the fireworks Downtown. I even had a secret plan - the new Town Lake fountain park was wide open and right next to Auditorium Shores where the main action was taking place. I was thinking we could be out of my main crowd, but yet able to get a great view of the fireworks. The kids would have more room to run around and the fountains nearby. My friend Susan further simplified the adventure by suggesting we bike down there from their house instead of drive.

It couldn’t have worked out any better. The weather was breezy, mild and inviting - not at all hot. The park was much busier than I had ever seen it, but still in no way crowded blanket to blanket.

We had a fantastic picnic - gourmet grilled veggie sandwiches with pesto and fresh mozzarella (made my me!), Blueberry oat bars, a fresh locally-grown watermelon from our CSA, cherries, carrots, and tamari nuts. Not to mention fabulous Maine Root rootbeer and Real Ale beer. And we could even faintly hear the symphony playing in the distance.

When it came time for the fireworks, turns out we were front and center for the show. Tyler kept worrying they were going to fall on our heads! And wow, I forgot just how breathtaking fireworks can be!! The technology has come a long way from when we were kids. It was a good 20 minute show if not a longer and the kids were pretty enthralled. As Tyler described the next day, “They were going boom! boom! boom!”

The kids were a bit cranky getting to bed, but passed out fairly quickly. It was so worth it. I loved being out with all the people comfortably near the middle of the action! I felt so alive - it was really wonderful.

So one evening two weeks ago, I was working on a website I am building for Blossom Family Center. I figure I might as well give the new Coldplay a listen. I was immediately captivated. I don’t know if it was my recent mood or what but I immediately connected to the music. I usually don’t embrace a full album right away. Within a day I wanted the music on my iPod and by the next day I remember hearing they were coming for a concert.

Three days after I first heard the album, I told Chris, “I really want to hear this album live, I want to go see Coldplay.” Sure enough they were coming in November, but only to Dallas or Houston.” And you know what, we were fine with that!

Here is the weird thing - I am not a massive Coldplay fan. I like their music, but it isn’t like I would travel to go see them. But somehow this music sonically grabbed me - and if you have heard this album, well, it was built for an arena. You want to be completely drowned in it to fully experience it. Chris did get to see Colplay at ACL and really enjoyed their show. And he is quite the music snob, so to be blown away by a band says a lot. So I thought - what the hell? The kids will be old enough..why not have a couple excursion?

The Dallas tickets had already gone on sale, but we lucked out that the Houston ones were going on sale that weekend. Chris snagged us floor seats and so off to Houston we go. The full plan is to drive down, have dinner at one of our old haunts, see the concert, stay at a hotel overnight and head back the next morning…without the kids of course.

We are so excited and have been acting like giddy teenagers since the whole plan came together.  Too bad we have to wait until November!!  :-p I think it is what we needed. Sometimes we get so lost in parenting and our lives as they are now. It is nice to carve out places where we can connect to the people we left behind the day Tyler was born. It is nice to realize they are still there and as the kids age, we will have more opportunities to be those people from time to time. To shed the weight and responsibility for a little while…

I feel like I am trying on new personalities or something. With staying home and focusing more on our home rhythms, I have really strayed from our nature adventures. I don’t know why - all of the sudden they seemed like such work. We haven’t been hiking in months I think.

With the summer heat, we would usually head to Bull Creek, but there are severe water quality issues there that concern me. I am hoping that maybe in six months things will be clear up, but given all the reports in the news I didn’t want to take any chances.

Turkey Creek is my other zen spot and I decided that Monday we would check it out. Being summer in Texas, it was very likely that all the water was dried up. The hike is a very shady one, so at least it would be a cool hike even sans water. Well, as expected, the first water crossing was dry as a bone. The second had none. At this point, Tyler is telling me that Turkey Creek is “ruined” without the water. We get to the third crossing point and find stagnant pools of water. I was holding out hope for the fourth crossing - our usual stomping ground anyway. Sure enough, there was flowing water there. It was cool and clear and flowing just enough that I felt comfortable with the kids frolicking in it.

And what goodness! We had such a wonderful time playing in the water, watching the fish and then the greatest surprise of all - tadpoles! Ah, the hunt was on after that! Even Mama got in on the action - they are fast little things! Tyler caught one all my himself too!

And I sat there soaking up this beautiful place, this wonderful day and wondering why on earth we had been away so long. We had the park to ourselves and it was so peaceful. I am searching for this perfect balance of nourishment for my kids and myself. Stretching myself in some places and yet, needing to remember what was good in the “old” days.

Heading into the forest	Quinn - She looks so cute balled up by the edge of the water
Exploring, Fishing…	Tyler Catches a Tadpole!
Quinn holding her treasures so tightly!	Watching Tyler, it was like he went into primitive hunter mode. It was quite fascintaing to watch him so focused.

We went out to Sweet Berry Farms, the same farm that has the pumpkin path in the autumn, to do some strawberry picking. It was really nice. I had never picked strawberries before nor seen what a strawberry plant looked like. We went with the kids and my Mom and Dad while Daddy has some Daddy time taking pictures. The kids picked for about 10 minutes and then they were done. So we headed on to see the goats and have our packed lunch. We even got to sneak in on a hayride - that day the hayrides were only for group tours - but the farmer let us on. We had some homemade berry ice cream and I went home with some homemade strawberry jam. It was a lot of fun and a wonderful outing for a spring morning!

Picking Berries at Sweet Berry Farms!	Look at those beautiful berries!
Pop looking for some ripe ones!
Quinn picking with Grandma….	Tyler checking things out
Feeding the goats…	I think it is wicked cool that these goats get a tree in their gated area so they can also climb to their heart’s content!

It is that time of year in Texas that draws us out of our homes and to many of the wonderful outdoor places in Austin. One of those is Town Lake Park. Surprisingly, still relatively undiscovered. Every Friday evening, we head out there with our dearest friends and their kids. We bring our dinners, wine and relax in the goodness and out breath that is the end of the week.

Easter Sunday,we actually put together an Easter egg hunt for the kids and they loved it. The next Friday, some of the kids were playing “Easter Egg hunt” all over again. It is a magical place with magical people and I look forward to it every week.

I am so blessed to be part of this super village filled with such amazing woman. I see their faces smiling and glowing. I know of their talents, strengths, weaknesses and struggles. We are each so different, but we share the desire to create for our kids a nurturing and loving environment, the desire to make this world a better place, and to live our lives more consciously making healthier decisions, but also soaking up all the goodness life has to offer us.

My favorite part though is how strong we all are. I have seen each of us come up to a rock on our path, deal with the struggle, and then clear our path by kicking the shit out of that rock. Not because we are necessarily angry, but more that there are bound to me more rocks, and at some point, we have to keep moving as our kids and life demands. That is the thing about being a Mom, we bear the pressure of so much counting on us. We become masters at dealing with challenges because we HAVE to.

I am waxing poetic. What was this post about?? Oh, good times at Town Lake. Here our a few shots from our last outing. Check out more on the eggs that Craftastica made!

Quinn’s bounty of easter eggs.
The amazing Meredith	Our lovely, glowing Kristy
Tyler enjoying a strawberry found in his egg.	Eva found a rose in one of her eggs!