Had a good Valentine’s Day! The kids each received one of those Bilbio toys. Activity toys – all about activity toys for my active two.

These things are pretty great. They can sit and spin around in them which I have a movie of them doing that somewhere. They can turn them over and stand on them. They have been hats. Not surprisingly, Quinn is using it as a place to put things. Tyler nn is spinning bear and lobster in his. We brought them with us for sliding down hills in the snow. Pretty fantastic thingamabobber!!

Speaking of love, this dog loves Chris. Sadly Daddy is very busy and so Chase doesn’t get all the Daddy time he would like. But when he does, oh this dog is in completely heaven. I love this picture….

One can never question the tenderness between father and daughter. The way he immediately softens when she needs him, when she comes in dressed up or giving him something she made leaves no room for doubt that he adores her.

She comes to snuggle in the middle of the night after a bad dream. He lifts up the blankets and they snuggle close and sleep tight.

She will sit quietly in his lap while he works. And this mellowness that she exhibits, different from her spirited older brother, means that he is happy to have her there in his lap content with the company.

It is sweet and I love seeing him be such a softie. He always wanted a son, but he never knew how much this little girl would steal his heart.

Friday we took my Mom to visit Pop. My Mom recently had a total right knee replacement and has been recovering for the last month. She used to see Pop just about every day, but after the surgery, he went two weeks without seeing her. Recently, we brought Dad over to my house twice for visits with her. He was defintely missing her and emotional.

But somehow a visit by her to his place was huge. My father was the mose emotional I had seen him – weeping and sobbing. He really missed her. Sometimes I think I discount that no matter how progressed his disease that some things he is still very aware of. My Mom says it is a matter of the heart and I believe her. They have been married 35 years. He had taken to going around his facility and asking “Where’s her?”

And so it goes. I am having more experience these days in caring for my father – shaving his face, brushing his teeth. It is crazy and difficult to witness such changes.

However, there are always bright spots and so it was with the Valentine’s party. We were served a lovely meal with cupcakes for dessert! There was music and even a crowned king and queen. Pop sat there contentedly at one point just holding onto my Mom’s hand. He was so happy to have her there…

Today the waters were quiet compared to the excitement and energy expended in the sun yesterday. For all the chaos that seems to be around me, it feels like we were following some natural rhythms today and that was nice. I love Wednesdays anyway. It is bread day and I love that anchor…

Ah, the three of us are best when together. Mom told me that she was meeting with Bryan today to review things for her knee replacement surgery tomorrow. I told her I wanted to come to so I could get the details and ask questions…and because that is the best dynamic.

It works out well – my Mom is the heavy freaking out about well, everything. Bryan and I sit there making inappropriate jokes and barbs to cut through the tension and lighten the mood. It is so fun to watch my Mom want to remain serious or know she shouln’t laugh, but can’t help it. What can I say – Bryan and I are pretty damn funny together.

Mom was concerned that Bryan wasn’t absobring information, so I call him unreliable and tell Mom I have it covered. Bryan throws a barb at me about my inability to create a career for myself. Then Mom tells me that Bryan is the primary contact since he is more flexible, Bryan gloats.

Then Mom goes off about our Dad’s “Do Not Revive” directive telling us that if anything happens to him in the 2 hours she is under, to not go to herioics. I joke that she is just counting the days until she can get a condo in Boca Raton. Then she starts worrying that she is going to die on the table, so Bryan and I starts immediately divying up the estate starting with the TV.

We ebb and flow between sarcasm and keeping my Mom calm and focused on what is needed and not what is going to happen 5 weeks down the road when a friend wants to come visit her and will I take her. We try to reassure her that we’ve got it, it will all be okay.

This is us. This was all of us sitting in our living room with Chris until 2am waiting for my labor with Quinn to begin after my water broke. Going between my Mom freaking out that I wasn’t immediately going in to the hopital and my brother cracking jokes. It was one of my favorite parts of that birth story.

Shit is heavy. My brother is an incredible man who will apply lotion to his father’s feet and check his father’s backside to make sure it is clean. I get a “pass” on some of these harsher realities because I was the one who had children, he didn’t. It isn’t always fair to him as I think he ends up bearing more weight that he should have to…and so I am slowly trying to step up more.

Nevertheless, we crack jokes because what else can you do? Reality is what it is. It is how we survive and how we get through. I am ever thankful for him and that he is HERE. How many families live together in the same city these days? We are beyond lucky.

I can make jokes by myself, but when Bryan is around, they just come so easily and we crack each other up as the jokes sometimes fly over our Mom’s head. Sorry, Mom.

My two kids have been wrestling like crazy lately and having a great time. I smile. That is my brother and I right there.

Even though I know we drive my Mom nuts at times thinking that we just don’t get the gravity of the situation, I hope as we leave her house, she knows we have it covered….and we already know who is getting the TV. :-p

After our hike we relaxed in our cabin. The cabin had lots of windows in the back room that let lots of lovely natural light in. We then went back out in the afternoon to check out the Frio River and naturally the kids could not resist the water. They spent a lot of time playing around here.

As the sun began to set, we headed back to the cabin for a yummy dinner. Then we closed the night around our Yule log and made smores. Honestly, I wanted to include more ritual than I did, but time slipped away on me. No matter, we will be back next year and I can add a bit more to our celebrations.

The next day we had hoped to hike at Lost Maples before heading home. Sadly the park was closed that day. We took it as a sign from the universe that we needed to get home. It was just as well.

All in all a fantastic solstice! Come with us next year, won’t you?

Winter solstice out in nature is heaven. Running from the holiday insanity for a few days to get grounded, to connect with my little family, and to breathe in the goodness around us.

We had done this 3 years ago and I commited that this year we would make it an annual tradition. I love Texas in the winter! Its’ beauty comes through its simplicity, its nakedness. No snow or leaves to hide behind – just bare branches stretching to the sky. The sun finds its way through and creates amazing dappled light, shadows, sunsets and sunrises. While it may be a time of sleep for much of nature, its majesty is ever present.

The first day there we went on a 4 hour hike with the kids. The weather was incredible and we all had an amazing time! I have to share some of the pics from the hike!