Who knew that after this event, life would spiral downward for both of us landing with a big thunk in December? But I am glad we did this. That we paused to recommit to this partnership right before the shit hit the fan. We are in this for the long haul. This is our life for better or worse. And we are fighting and working hard for it. We believe in each other and in us.

Our marriage is not perfect. I think we got really lucky. The parts that worked seemed to override the ones that didn’t. As we matured, other parts improved. And as we are dealing with the crap of life, we need to lean on each other more than ever. This vulnerability on both sides has allowed us to begin to tackle some of the longstanding issues that trip us up.

It is not important that we get it perfect, but that we continue learning, gaining a deeper understanding of and showing greater compassion for each other.

Who knew that at the ripe age of 20, this boy who I wished was my boyfriend, would become that and so much more.

Oh Tyler.

The way you immediately went off and set about on your mission interested me so.

What really struck me is that later when your dear friend and sister decided to spend a good while sliding down the natural water slide, you chose instead to scuba dive. And for the next 40 minutes you would dive down with your swim mask and swim around near the bottom as long as your breath would allow. Each time you surfaced, you exclaimed, “Mom what rare and beautiful fish are down there!”. Later you would request oxygen tanks.

You had no interest in what they were doing – you were so very much engaged in what you wanted to do. You became more of an individual to me that day. Finding your own passion, finding your own bliss. I so enjoyed watching your exploration of that small pool and loved just how much wonder it held for you.

That was such a good afternoon. And later that night you would blow me away again with a wonderful art creation. You are blooming right before my eyes!

I love you so much my sweet, sweet, boy.

People who know me might think that I get really into doing it up for birthdays, and actually, I don’t. I am incredible lazy when it comes to them. I like the small traditions we have at our house, but when it comes to the party part, we just have it at the park by our house with tacos, coffee and cake. The kids play at the playground and the adults chill and talk. My kind of party – I don’t have to do anything! :-p

Traditions
The night before we hang up the birthday flags, hang streamers from the dinging room light and then create a scene on the dining table with a bunch of their toys. The love to wake up and marvel at the scene. This year we incorporate Tyler’s gift from us into it. He looked very pleased.

Party
This year Tyler wanted a Saturn cake. I turned that challenge over to my very talented neighbor who does all kinds of cake creations. She did an excellent job! Especially with the awesome rings! Tyler wore his birthday crown which he was into this year! It had 5 stars on it and a moon that he wanted me to add last year. At the end of the part he was hanging with some friends showing them one of his favorite presents from Grandma Susie.

Kids with Cameras
Some days I get annoyed with the many pictures the kids have taken with my camera. Some days I take a moment to look at what they captured and have a pretty good laugh. Here I think Quinn was trying to take a close-up of one of Tyler’s new car. And we have a picture of Tyler’s new camera sitting on a doll’s high chair. I somehow wonder if his sister was trying to commandeer it..hmmmmm

We had to make 42 Valentine’s day cards for his school!  It was quite a project.  We made them all throughout the day when we had the urge.  Sometimes it was Tyler who wanted to get back to it.  In the afternoon, Daddy joined us and we had a little factory going.  Daddy and I would add a few things and then hand them over to Tyler to add his touch.  Tyler talked about getting one from each “factory” (one from Mama and one from Daddy).   At one point, he got up to wash the ink off his hands and then returned to the table saying, “back to work”.  He took it quite seriously!!

I also had to add a picture of the drawing below as it is one of his first form drawings.  The other day Tyler asked what he should draw and Chris told hiim to draw him.  We were quite surprised when he started drawing a human form..with a very tiny  head!    It is so neat to watch his drawing evolve!

Up until now, we have been pulling Quinn in the bike trailer, but could sense she wanted to be more a part of the action.  So this past weekend we got a seat that attaches to the back of my mountain bike for her.  She likes riding up in her “high seat” and closer to Mommy or Daddy.

This past weekend was incredible.  We packed up a picnic, took our bikes and parked over at Town Lake park.  I thought we would bike around the hike and bike trail and then return to the fountain area for a picnic.  Well, we ended up taking a different route and it worked out wonderfully!

We biked east to the Congress bridge and crossed to the north shore.  We continued east on the trail under I-35.  Chris kept saying the trail would open up and boy was he right!  Wow!  This is now my favorite part of the hike and bike trail.  There aren’t as many people and the trail is wide open.  It runs right next to the lake, there are few buildings, few obstructions, lots of grassy areas, wide-open sky. This is where we will be come Spring – a hike, lots of running around and frisbee…and then throw out the picnic blanket, some books and snacks and just lay around and be in that warm sun!
This day, the lake was blue and shimmering from the suns rays, the light shone through the green foliage that was low and next to the water, and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky.  All this beauty and I had left my camera in the car.  As disappointed as that was, I had to let it go and enjoy the moment.

We picked a grassy spot right next to the lake and enjoyed our picnic.  Tyler had requested  tea from Whole Foods for our weekend fun, so along with our sandwiches, chips and apples, we each enjoyed our Sweet Leaf Tea!  Yum!

After our picnic, we biked back to Town Lake park.  Tyler was getting tired towards the end, but he made it.  We played at the park, biked around a bit more and headed home.   We estimated it was another 4 mile trip.

Chris and I are so thrilled that he is enjoying biking so much.  It is so exciting to see our son sharing one of our passions.   I was telling Chris that even though there are days we wish our kids were more mellow, it is that crazy energy that gives him the endurance to handle a 4 mile bike ride at 4 years of age.   That gives him the determination to run one mile and then to walk the remaining 4 miles of the Turkey Trot.  That gives him the fuel to hike 3 miles.   It is neat to have all these ways to help him channel that energy.   He certainly came to the right parents for that! 

We have a future athlete in our family. The Holiday weekend started with Tyler running the first full mile (and then some) of the Turkey Trot with me (and then walking the remaining four miles as well). On Sunday afternoon, just one day after we put the pedals on his big-boy bike, Tyler is now riding a bicycle all by himself.

This is amazing to us – Tyler is four years and three weeks old. He received his Trek Float as an early birthday present on November 9th. He has been out learning his balance (the Float allows the pedals and crank arms to be easily removed – the point is that kids learn to ride faster by focusing on balance first without learning to depend on training wheels) for the last three weeks, probably no more than 3-4 times a week. This weekend, he asked to try his pedals, so we put them on and took him out Friday. He and I spent about 10 minutes tops. He did OK – going almost an entire house-length at one point – but was very unsteady and didn’t seem terribly into it. On Sunday, he wanted to try again. This time, within about another 10 minutes of practice, he was consistently going 3-4 house-lengths each time before needing to put his feet down.

Amazing – with basically 20 minutes practice with the pedals, he finished the day zipping up and down the street and around our block. He even learned how to use the end of driveways to give him enough momentum to get his feet on his pedals and moving. Now we just have to figure out how to keep him on the sidewalks and near the house

Here’s the proof: (click the image, may take a while to download):

We are very excited about this bike.  It is called a Trek Float.  When you first given the bike to the child you remove the pedals and crank from the bike.  So it is essentially a push bike.   This forces him to perfect his balance on the bike first and then once he is very comfortable, you put the pedals on and off they go.  You know when the child is ready when they are propelling themselves forward and then picking there feet up for extended periods of time.  So they aren’t really needing their feet for balance.

I love this whole idea because we will never have to deal with training wheels and it doesn’t require Chris and I at all.  I feel like we completely botched potty learning.  To be honest, Chris and I are not patient people and have high, sometimes unrealistic expectations.  So something like this that does not require our intervention and allows him more independence because he doesn’t need a parent to help him to ride, is perfect for our family.

At first he was wanting the pedals, but very quickly was satisfied with the challenge of just propelling himself forward.  The bike is pretty heavy, so he had to get used to the weight.  He fell a lot at first – thank goodness for our sidewalks with grass on both sides.   But now, he has this scissor kick rhthym he gets into and off he goes.  He will ride down to the school and back now.  We figure maybe a month of two and then he will be ready for pedals. This bike also has a lot of “grow with you” features, so Tyler should have it for a while. And right about when he is done, we assume Quinn will be ready to take her spin on the Float!

Quinn now has Tyler’s tricycle and is quite happy with it.  Chris adjusted it for her height, but she isn’t pedaling just yet.  In fact, she prefers to take fire truck (he favorite push toy on which she uses to hurl herself down the sidewalk) out with Tyler as she can totally keep up with him on fire truck.  In fact, she likes to bump the back of his bike tire when he is being pokey….he doesn’t much like that!  :-p

It is very exciting to see them reaching these big milestones and also scary.  I told Chris that once he masters that bike – he will be off and biking every chance he gets.  The  challenge is how to give Quinn the opportunity to do her riding and walk around the neighborhood and keep up with Tyler who will no doubt be speeding around the neighborhood??   I haven’t figured that one out just yet….there will have to be some compromise there.  Maybe a morning walk for Quinn (no bikes on this one) and an evening ride for Tyler where I jog with Quinn in the stroller?  I have a few months to figure it out…hopefully.

Getting the helmet on	Final adjustments
Getting ready….	Some help from Dad steadying
Getting Quinn’s tricycle adjusted for her	..and off they go.

1.  Quinn is nightweaned!

It happened earlier and quicker than I thought it would.   I actually started the last night of our vacation in Arkansas.  I thought I might try given a trip I will be taking soon.  So the last night of our trip I began telling her that the milk needed rest and she could nurse when the sun was up.   That night I was able to snuggle her back to sleep without much protest until 4am, so I just went with it.  It took her an hour that first night, although it wasn’t all upset – more restlessness and just trying to settle.   And about five days later, so far so good.  I am not sure if it is her temperment or just timing.  And given the next milestone – it may just be timing.

2.  Chris put Quinn to bed..and she was fine with it!

A time or two before this has happened – but it was usually a case where she fell asleep in the car and he transferred her or she wanted me and was protesting, but I wasn’t there and she had no choice him.   This evening I kind of half-jokingly told her that Daddy was putting her to bed since Tyler was wanting me to snuggle him.  She said she wanted me, but eventually we talked her into letting Daddy read her some books.   This part is pretty common – she likes Daddy reading to her.  But what usually happens is that once it is time for lights out – she wants me and is very emphatic about it.

So as I was laying in the dark next to Tyler, I kept waiting…and waiting…and waiting to hear her get upset.  And she didn’t.   I came out of Tyler’s room and the lights were off in hers.   And about 5 minutes later, Chris came out.  He said she was a little restless at first, but eventually snuggled next to him and went to sleep.  And never once did she ask for me!

Daddy was quite pleased.   I think we are going to try a pattern of me putting her two sleep for two nights and then Daddy doing one and then me again.  It would be nice to get her used to Daddy.   I also enjoy the change to snuggle Tyler as it happens to rarely.   Tyler is so active and chatty and is practically in motion all day long, so at night I love the peaceful connection of just laying next to him.

3.  Tyler and Quinn had their first sibling smack-down!

This was the first slapfest and I think Quinn started it.  They have had these run-ins before, but this is the first one where it seemed to go back and forth as opposed to one turn each, tears and get Mom.  They were just trading blows this time.   I thought to myself, “whoa – so here we are”.   I so need to dig out Siblings Without Rivalry and start prepping my reactions.   Ah, siblings.    There are the smack downs and then there is Arkansas where every morning was a sibling lovefest complete with the big daily morning bear hug…

I have been fretting about his pottying or lack there of for the last few months. See, he has pooped in the potty for like a year and a half now. He just never made the leap to peeing as well. And what bothered me is that he never had that “oh crap, I need to pee” moment when we put him in underwear before. I have tried underwear two times in the last few months and usually had him in diapers before the day was over.

For some reason, potty training is a trigger thing for me, so I would rather have him in diapers than get mad about it. The other big reason is that when I gently suggested he go potty, he refused. Then he would have an accident like 20 minutes later…seven times a day (my son pees like a racehorse).
Last Saturday, I just felt zen about the whole thing, I don’t know why. And he also felt ready, I guess because when I suggested he go potty, he obliged. And that is what has made this round of attempts stick – I think he is truly ready, he will go if I ask him to and I am freaking out less about the accidents.

And just yesterday, he was in the office with me, looked up at me and said, “I have to go pee pee!” The moment I was waiting for! Horray!

This kid has an active mind and body and I know there will be more accidents. When he is hyper or really engaged in something, he doesn’t pick up on his body’s signals. Nevertheless, I am thrilled about this step forward.

It is weird how it is already like he has been peeing in the potty for a long time. It is already automatic that we go to the bathroom before we leave the house, when we get up etc. It is like that when your baby walks. My kids took forever to figure it out and two weeks after they started walking, it felt like they had always been walking.

So I guess out potty learning journey is slowing coming to a close. One last hurdle – nighttime. I am not pushing that though – we are going to work on mastering one thing at a time.

Quinn has started using the potty occasionally, so maybe before long, she will get there too. That would be nice!