It is amazing. For the past 4 weeks I have been doing a pretty good job of getting the rest I need and working out and it is amazing how good I feel. I didn’t need coffee, had a clear head, more energy and a positive outlook.

Fast forward to a few days of craziness, a kid up for a while last night and some late nights and what a difference it makes. I haven’t gotten to the gym this week, am drinking caffeine trying to get my brain alert, and feel so unmotivated and hopeless.

I read something that said lack of sleep can lead to depression. Um, yeah. I mean if you feel like this all the time how could one not be depressed? I know that this is all lack of sleep though, so today is gently putting one foot in front of the other and conserving energy where possible. Tonight I will have my butt in bed early and will try to get back to that good schedule I had been on.

Yesterday upon telling my kids I loved them, Tyler replied with something like, “I don’t always think you do.” Basically alluding that I am angry all the time. I can’t tell you how shitty I felt hearing that. Of course, he is 5 and a half and so I have to be weary of how much weight I put on that. But still, it made me sad.

I don’t really know what to do about that except to continue to take care of myself so I can be my best self and the best parent I can be. *sigh* One foot in front of the other, right?

1. Escape to one of my zen spots
Monday I was able to return to a zen spot of mine that has been closed for a year. I was excited and nervous. This place brought me so much solace when my kids were younger and we needed to get out of the house and just escape life for a while.

It was just as wonderful as I remember. Bliss, pure bliss. I have so much love for any place that can take whatever shit I show up with and wash it all away for a little while. Maybe it is just my Pisces nature to find peace wherever there is water.

And how I love watching my kids in these places. I love watching them expand and explore. How they are all at once at peace, but completely stimulated in a way that is not overwhelming. There is little to anger them and they are so fulfilled. Although we are usually all in different places, I feel so very close to them, so very connected through the experience and energy of these natural places.

I know I will be returning here often. It was nice to start the week off here – to begin the week with a nice dose of zen. I talk a lot and am not very succinct when it comes to explaining something. And as I am incredibly visual, so it goes with pictures. One just didn’t paint the picture for me. I had to share all the goodness from that day. Enjoy the zen!

1. Celebrations
I love celebrations of all kinds. They give us a reason to pause, to celebrate life, to be thankful, to love each other. The world only seems to spin faster these days and so many of our interactions are so superficial. I love those times when we can be surrounded by those we love to laugh, share, and revel in the goodness of the moment.

I think Quinn had a great birthday – she was surrounded by all the guests she requested. The kids played, ate and the adults enjoyed some time to catch up. It was a most wonderful morning and a wonderful way to celebrate my angel girl turning 4.

This is our tradition and is what each kid wakes up to on their birthday. We always create a custom scene for them. Tyler added some special rocks for her just before she woke up.
I love to see their reactions!	Many smiles.
She has on the dress Mama made and is about to open Tyler’s book!	Enjoying looking through her book.
Up they go and are working on going over and back down! We hope this keeps them busy for a while!	Our monkey girl loves it! She thanked Daddy for her “climber” as she calls it.

1. Surprise projects on a deadline (especially birthday ones)!
Somehow the best ideas come at the last minute OR the time to work on the good ideas come at the last minute. Quinn’s birthday had us working down to the wire! Friday evening she was busy outside with Daddy helping him finish an A-frame climbing wall. (He told her is was for Grandma to take home and hang things on.)

Meanwhile, Tyler was busy finishing a book he was drawing for her while I sewed a dress. She thought I was making an apron from myself. And so we all worked steadily and managed to complete all of our projects for the next day.

It is such fun to make something special and put so much love into something for someone we love so much!

1. Cooking at the beginning of a season

I could have just said summer cooking, but really it is all about the beginning of the season. Just like a new relationship, I am in love with summer right now. We have now started getting a good bit of summer veggies and I am having fun cooking many of our favorites from last year.

Also, I have been making more drinks – lemonade, cherry limeade, margaritas, and hibiscus mint tea with ginger, lemon and sugar (SO good!). I even made a homemade granita last week.

I experience every season in two ways – out in nature and in my kitchen. I love the light meals, the cool foods, the crunch of fresh veggies. It is all so very good!

1. Creation in all its forms
I don’t always say that in the moment nor after the moment. But when I come back and look at these pictures I am in awe. On a tired day, when my capacity and energy is low, they are messes, disaster zones, destruction, waste and more work for me. On a good day, I am filled with wonder and awe for what they conjure up.

Sometimes I wish it wouldn’t include all the things it does, but I choose to live in a house with lots of stuff and so it goes. They view all this stuff in a much different way. Everything has more value that just sitting on a shelf, everything can play an active role in their play. It is really fascinating….and sometimes frustrating.

1. Enjoying firsts with the kids. This day: bowling.

They loved it. I don’t know what to say, they really loved it. Quinn kept saying, “what fun! what fun!”. Tyler was bouncing all around all smiles. They wanted to come every weekend. With the summer temps on the rise, bowling will definitely be added as an option for weekend fun. I love bowling, so am really jazzed about their enthusiasm for it. The pictures tell the story.

And as we were changing shoes, Quinn had to try to tie hers herself. She is getting to be such a big girl! And she did figure out the knot part this day! Is she really about to be 4?