*sigh* This is me and I hate this part. It is a down cycle and it is me. Emotional me. I hate being predictable like that, but I am and it is that time. I am tired too. Had a good week, but today was wonky in every sense of the word. We just couldn’t find a rhythm and I couldn’t even figure out how to steer the boat.

And so of course at one point today, I just new we had to get outside..I needed to get out there. Sure it is cold, but it is sunny and beautiful otherwise. And so I am ready, I get Quinn ready and after telling Tyler several times to get ready he just stands there among his jacket, shoes and gloves. I have to go help him and I lose my temper. Why are you just standing there?!?!? I need to go, I need get out!!

I needed to get outside and he didn’t know how close I was to blowing. And in that one moment too long, I can’t take it. I need to go. So thunderstorm comes, and thunderstorm passes.

He is like me in so many ways. Blow hard, blow loud, but soon enough it is over and I am fine. His storms are the same way. Once it is over, he wants to reconnect and move on. We may chat about it later, but at that time, we just want to move on and away from that moment.

He told me today, “When you get angry, I feel like you don’t like me.” And so I try to explain how when I feel yucky, I am like a volcano and when they blow, they tend to get their hot, icky lava on everything around them. I don’t think he got it, but maybe one day it will make sense. Thankfully, I don’t blow that often, but still, it is something I need to work on.

These times suck – all the messages in my head suck. I could write many paragraphs about them, but why? This is weather that will pass. I need to cry and recognize that these feelings are here, but not react to them. They will pass soon enough. And thankfully, I need to work – always a good distraction.

For us, the celebration of Epiphany, or Three Kings day, is the official end to the holiday season. We had a lovely evening giving out our last heart. I love this tradition – especially seeing the kids faces beam as they listen to the many things that their Mommy, Daddy and sibling appreciate about them. It is also good for Mommy and Daddy to share their gratitude for each other with each other…ahem!

Tonight we dined on a lovely, simple meal of Winter Minestrone with basil pesto and Irish Soda Bread. For dessert, we have our traditional cake that the kids helped me bake in the morning. Butter, sugar, eggs, flour, cherries, pecans, lemon zest and a pinch of cinnamon. Then we drizzle the top with honey. Yummy!

After our hike we relaxed in our cabin. The cabin had lots of windows in the back room that let lots of lovely natural light in. We then went back out in the afternoon to check out the Frio River and naturally the kids could not resist the water. They spent a lot of time playing around here.

As the sun began to set, we headed back to the cabin for a yummy dinner. Then we closed the night around our Yule log and made smores. Honestly, I wanted to include more ritual than I did, but time slipped away on me. No matter, we will be back next year and I can add a bit more to our celebrations.

The next day we had hoped to hike at Lost Maples before heading home. Sadly the park was closed that day. We took it as a sign from the universe that we needed to get home. It was just as well.

All in all a fantastic solstice! Come with us next year, won’t you?

We have our 12 Days of Christmas Ring here which takes up right into Epiphany. One of Quinn’s gift was to be a knitted hat for her doll to match the doll sweater I made her at Christmas. Great idea….except I have to find some time to actually knit it. So down to the last minute, I got it done in about 1.5 hours..at 2am. Lost sleep..boo, but finished project – yay! It all balances out…eventually..or with caffeine. :-p

I think it came out pretty good!! Her doll looks cute. Now as to why dolly is running around in her nightgown in this cold weather is beyond me. You will have to ask my daughter that question. She will probably say that Mommy needs to sew dolly more clothes! :-p

Winter solstice out in nature is heaven. Running from the holiday insanity for a few days to get grounded, to connect with my little family, and to breathe in the goodness around us.

We had done this 3 years ago and I commited that this year we would make it an annual tradition. I love Texas in the winter! Its’ beauty comes through its simplicity, its nakedness. No snow or leaves to hide behind – just bare branches stretching to the sky. The sun finds its way through and creates amazing dappled light, shadows, sunsets and sunrises. While it may be a time of sleep for much of nature, its majesty is ever present.

The first day there we went on a 4 hour hike with the kids. The weather was incredible and we all had an amazing time! I have to share some of the pics from the hike!

with so much love in my heart and a clear head. Nature heals, inspires and cleanses me like nothing else. Feeling grounded and ready for 2010. I look forward to sharing images from many of our adventures over the next few days.