So this past weekend, Daddy and Tyler were going to Einstein’s for breakfast and then mountain biking on a little Father/Son date. Well, then – Quinn and I should have a date too. Now we did this in the spring, but for whatever reason – our date fizzled. I just didn’t know what to do.

This time, it worked out beautifully. I needed to get a top for a date Mommy and Daddy were having later that night and have some gift cards to spend. So first off, a “girly” place to have breakfast – Le Madeline I thought! The kids have never been there, so I thought that would be fun. (oh, and judging from the number of men in there – I guess it isn’t a girly place after all – a lot of folks seem to like it).

So we split a lovely yogurt parfait with berries and muesli cereal, a blackberry cream cheese croissant and a large glass of orange juice. I have never seen that child eat so much food in one sitting – she chowed!! We sat by a window and with the great lighting, I had to take her picture. Naturally, she wanted to take mine too. “We will have to show these to the boys!”, she says.

Oh, and if you want to know who the girl is in the family, well, take a look at our outfits. Quinn dressed herself down to her “party shoes” as she calls them. Me? Jeans and a shirt…

And so off to Macy’s. I found a lovely salesperson who got be hooked up with the tights I had wanted as well as a black sweater top I was hunting for. She kindly found every black top they had for me to try on. Well, as I was checking out, she talked me into their Macy’s card (the universe intervened, because I always say “no”). Well, with another 15% savings available to me, she encouraged me to shop around saying there were lots of sales. And wow, there were! I found lots of things to try on!

My favorite was this dress…and I don’t wear a lot of dresses. But I put it on and I felt so beautiful. That was me in the mirror. I have reclaimed this part of myself and it feels so good!

It was awesome and on sale for under $30!! Well after that I had to get proper undergarments as well as a purse. I kept joking that I walked out of Macy’ more of a lady than when I walked in! :-p Quinn was so incredibly patient and so off to the children’s section we headed to get her an outfit too!

I wore my favorite purchase on my amazing date with my husband that night! I think he was pretty taken aback when I walked downstairs. It was nice. Quinn wore her outfit the next day at Tyler’s party. So a very successful Mommy/Daughter date indeed. My favorite part was when we were walking out of Macy’s and a greeter asked Quinn if she had a good time with Mommy. Quinn has this huge grin on her face and emphatically shook her head up and down. Us girls do know how to have fun!

This week has been a great week! It has been a while since I had one of those at home. Somewhat surprising considering the number of work and other commitments I had and then again, not that surprising as we just returned from vacation. I was trying to put my finger on what I was doing differently to make this week flow better. I finally stopped that exercise realizing “who the hell knows?” I mean there are times I am on top of my game and the kids still fall apart. And so rather than over-analyze it, I am just going to enjoy it.

I am definitely a way better Mama with sleep – I just feel better, I am more fun, and just have more energy for life. Today Tyler wanted to play Monopoly (preschooler rules here). Usually I would say “no” or brush it off. Today I made it a priority. And it was a really nice time. I sat down, we connected.

Of course after the game, they naturally went totally crazy while I tried to talk to my Mom on the phone. But I am remembering to surf the moments, and so I try to effect a shift in their energy, but I don’t lose it. And so they shift, and then you get this:

..and there they are, swinging easy and letting the day pass them by.

And naturally twenty minutes later they were both naked in the backyard playing with the water hose. I am learning to love these waves and not run from them, but rather ride them. Each one brings a surprise – what crazy play will they come up with, what body part will be the butt of jokes today (pun totally intended), what nook will they find to catch their breath, what will the quiet moment be.

I see how it is easy to feel like one big party pooper as a Mom. Always having to shut down the fun. And while yes, sometimes that has to happen, these days I am starting to join it a lot more often. And you know, I am having a lot more fun!

Who knew? A Tyler creation and I am so in love with it!

And I love Duplo legos. So many of Tyler’s friends have moved on up to the regular legos, but my kids are just not ready. It is so interesting to watch. Their play with the duplos is effortless. They have a good amount to create with and build everything and anything you can imagine. They are happy, content and do not struggle in building their creations.

When Chris brought out his legos, to my chagrin, I saw a different vibe in the kids’ play. Quinn obviously struggled more and of course, likes to put the pieces in her mouth. Tyler started to get very particular – having to use specific pieces and wanting to build the models he saw in Daddy’s stuff.

Suddenly the creations were more labored and it seemed more difficult to make come to life. He would want to play with the big models he and Daddy built, but parts kept falling off every time. They are built to be on a shelf, not flown all over the house as he wants to do at this age. I also found that I was needed more which I have a problem with. And while I don’t mind challenging them, this level of legos caused too much contraction and more frustration for everyone.

And so this mean Momma put the kabash on the little legos. On occasion a model he and Daddy built comes down, but I find that he doesn’t even ask for them very much anymore. A day after our trip Tyler was happily building “spaceships with cameras attached” with his Duplos. When they are both older, the regular ones will come out again. But for now things are once again happy and peaceful and full of numerous creations, like my new friend here, cardinal. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, ya know?

I am really tired, my head hurts and it is 11:23pm. That early bedtime goal is just a pipe dream. *sigh* I think I took some pretty good pictures today that can tell the story better than I right now! There are quite a few – enjoy! And Happy Birthday to my silly, crazy, sweet boy.

Tyler made the McDonald Observatory
Notice the cars in the bag..that’s my girl
Homemade Cheese Snails – Yum!

I hope I didn’t make the trip out to be bad – it is just that ya know, I would love a vacation from parenting sometimes!

Oh, this place is so amazing. This is the second time we have gone to the Guadalupe Mountains. Each time I get there, I immediately think, “why are we HERE?” I want lush mountains and forest, this is dry, colorless desert. But the Guads are different and by the end, I am in love and can’t wait to get back.

It is such a strange relationship because I can’t explain the draw – it isn’t as simple as saying “Fall in New England”. But there is something about this place. It has so many stories to tell.

Geologically - it was once a Permian reef when parts of Texas were covered by ocean. This created three different environments right in the mountains. In the bowl area, there is a heavily wooden pine forest! There are species of animals here you won’t find anywhere else. I love to read how the reef was formed and then re-emerged. This place is this marker of how things used to be millions of years ago – it is a standing piece of history.

Historically, it was the highest point for the Butterfield Stage which was the first coast to coast post before the civil war. The Mescalero and Apache Indians took residence here. In fact, nearby Fort Davis was home to the Buffalo soldiers, posted there after the Civil War to fight off these Indians. It is a sad tale. I’ve enjoyed reading about how much to Indians were able to do with the plant life here – they were so incredibly resourceful.

Visually, it is stunning. I honestly prefer lush to desert, but the Devil’s Hall hike we did will illustrate the amazing diversity of plants – a pine tree, next to a sotol, next to a maple, next to a cholla cactus. And it all works in strange harmony. It is like a person really – there is so much to this place – every season, every hour, every location – it looks and feels different.

And damn if I don’t feel a bit sexy roughing it with mainly a bunch of men around. Somehow I find a way to work into conversation that we are camping for 5 days. Yeah, we do that, with kids. Oh and nothing beats heading to the bathroom to brush my teeth in my plaid pink flannel pants. Yup, I can hike, camp, make great camp coffee, and look cute in my PJs. :-p Seriously, the male to female ratio was ridiculous.

It feeds my ego, but also my soul. Nature does for me what nothing else can. I cannot begin to explain how connected I am to the earth and my place in it. To feel so small amongst mountains that have been through and seen more than I ever will is humbling. Not to mention that I am the best rested I have been in months. Going to bed at 7:30 – 8pm every night will do wonders for you head. (of course it is 11pm right now…). When it is cold and dark, there is nothing to do but sleep!

Sadly, some of my favorite shots from the Guads are yet to be downloaded, but more are forthcoming. Below are the Davis Mountains – where we spent the weekend after our camp out. Two lovely evenings in the awesome Indian Lodge at the State park.

The Davis mountains are a great coming down. They are gentler, more inviting and less rough. They are way more easy going – just hanging out inviting you to come and enjoy an light hike. It is here where the kids had their first “mountain top” hike. They were pretty psyched and I was proud of them for making it! Also, the fall foliage in the area was nothing short of breathtaking. This was the drive into town which I loved finding excuses to make because I wanted to drive up and down this road again and again!

With that I should get to bed – more to come!!

The trip was much like the mountains – majestic, mysterious, magical, rough and hard. I return calm and quiet, ready to head back into life hoping to fix some of the things that were so clearly breaking down before we left. Traveling with kids is an interesting experience – there is no escapism even in vacation. And with life following me wherever I go, I come back ready to submit to it. Rather than the loud warrior battling to fix it all in one fight, I become the quiet traveler trying to make it better as I go a little at a time.

And with that I share with you some words from this lovely blog, Sweet Salty.

This is me very much before our trip – my soul yelling its plea to matter…

We trudge. God, how we trudge. Each of us forgets to look sidelong at the person next, the person behind, all trudging souls.

Woe!
but for more hours, more started, more finished
more of what I want
more of what I need
more of what I deserve

And there we are, caught in the snare of our own trickery. Restlessness seduces.

What is it to feel unrealized, other than strangely exquisite? It is the soul’s plea to matter. It is the exhausting submersion of caring for others, sometimes at the expense of our own creative spark. It is age and mortality settling upon us like a kneading cat, prodding us to Hurry up and do something. Make something. Be something, before they start rationing my tea.

What do you see?

I see a kid whose every adventure is already written. All his loves and words and chance encounters carved into each and every bone, waiting for him to notice.

I see the force that made him, and it smiles.

And now I return, rested and no longer restless. It all followed me to the mountains – every fight, whine, complaint, tantrum, meltdown. And what I found was that maybe I was running from what had become so hard all of the sudden. I wanted to find a new way to define myself because the current definition wasn’t doing it for me any more. But I can’t escape motherhood.

And so I am home. I choose now to trudge on, to deal with what is on my doorstep. And the words below that close the post I referred to ring so true to me tonight. I hold onto them tightly…I have stories, I have everything I need and I have fortitude just like the mountains that enveloped me for a week. And so I trudge on looking to slowly, quietly make things a little better where I can.

You have everything you need. You have fortitude. You have stories. Be quiet, be still, until they slink out from underneath forgotten freight to sniff around your ankles like feral cats.

Never mind the trudge. Everybody trudges. Just keep going. But be sure, as you do, to listen.

The trip was a good one, but more like real life full of wonderful ups and icky downs. Our family had a magical hike into the mountains that lasted most of the day, had Carlsbad Cavern all to ourselves, and had our first hike to a mountain top with the kids. We camped under thousands of stars, saw lovely moon rises, sunrises and sunsets. We even went to a star party and all saw our first javelina. I forgot my camera (which made this Mama very sad), but Chris took many wonderful shots and I hope to steal some later this week! :-p And now off to bed at my new earlier bedtime….