Ahhhhhh! My life isn’t that hard in reality, but when I am tired and completely low on energy - it can seem that way. After a really bad day yesterday, I realized that the intelligent thing to do this morning was to take the kids over to MIL’s to give myself some more space to breathe. Did I mention that it is that time of the month AND I have a, ahem, yeast infection? (sorry for the TMI) - but it all plays into my state of mind and well-being at the moment…or lack thereof…

Anyway, the need for humor arose when I was pulled over for speeding on the way home from MIL’s. Spicewood Springs is a notorious speed trap. However, this mama zoning out on the way home forgot that and her zoning out meant she was doing 50 in a 35. Have you ever driven that road - it is built for speeding.

As much as I want to cry and rant and play the victim - I can’t. I am a speed demon and really, I get away with it…a lot. And in my life I have gotten out of more tickets than I have been given. I haven’t had one in years, I will get a discount from the driver’s class, I can afford the ticket. It isn’t the end of the world…

In general, being tired sucks and can make a day feel like moving through mud. Hopefully in a week my physical self will be healed and hormonally back in balance. I think that will help.

Oddly enough, even having these bad days, I have been feeling guilty about the kids starting at Starbright. I keep thinking I *should* be able to do this. We CAN have wonderful days at home - why do I need to spend all that money for a break? And once again, I guess I put that question out to the universe and it ia basically trying to make it crystal clear why I need to do this and why I need this break. Yesterday was terrible, it really was. I don’t want to be that Mom everyday…showing my kids the lesser parts of me for a majority of the day.

My friend Susan was saying, “you only live once”. And she is right. It is all about balance. And I can’t feel guilty about it. I have a purpose here and I will find ways to give back for all the blessings I have been given. Because I have been blessed with what I think is a cushy life, I feel that I MUST take the rough road. As if it is rude to take shortcuts.

I have to believe that the universe will continue to steer me and my purpose will continue to unfold. Life is so strange and really, I have to be better about finding the humor. There are going to be shitty days…and just when I think it is better and I’m ready to throw a “Ooo child, things are going to get better” parade, the rain shows up in the form of lights flashing in my face and a finger is pointing me to the side of the road.   And so I laugh - you finally caught me, about damn time I guess… And I speed home, ticket in hand….:-p