So I am now past my climate change/dreading the impending gloom freak-out. It was bad. One day I was seriously going through all the possibilities of how we could survive if everything went to hell. I was thinking we would go to Alaska, nice and remote. We would have to become hunters and gatherers because growing crops would mean we would stay in one area too long and risk someone would raid our crops. I thought how maybe money would allow us to buy access to a place with great resources, but then rejected that thought because we would end up fighting off constant raids by those who wanted our resources.

I was calling my friends to talk me down from this craziness. And my most awesome, wonderful friend Susan responds on the phone, “Dude, we are getting Thundercloud subs and heading to Barton Springs…” She has a lot of this living thing figured out already! :-p

I then was thinking about how this has been the most amazing spring and wondered would this be the last one? Will all the forthcoming seasons be hot and icky? Will we cease to have a fall, winter and spring? I realized that really all I can do is truly enjoy and soak up every beautiful day we have. I have to live in the moment. There is so many terrible things that could happen, so I can’t really dwell on what I can’t control.

With that I appreciate all the things I DO notice out in nature thanks to having kids. Here is a picture of the first bloom of the season on our pink skullcap out in the garden.

I also pulled out some vintage some Dave Matthews Band…the Crash album specifically. Crash is my portal to the past. And since memories grow even fonder as time passes, I spent yesterday swimming in the carefree ecstacy of my youth. The many fun adventures with the man I was (and still am) madly in love with. I love how a song can take you to an exact moment…

Crash - to Chris’ Dallas apartment during our internship and me in his room. He wasn’t there, but I remember putting that song on repeat and listening to it over and over. Not to mention it is really Chris and I’s song. We danced to it at our wedding and in Chris’ ring, I had engraved, “so lost for you” - a line from the song and truly how I feel about him.

#41 - I was in a popular cajun restaurant in Downtown Houston. (what was the name of that place y’all? You who live in Houston should know, we went there all the time…. in was a chain there i believe). I was waiting for a group of MISA students and was there with a friend from Arthur Andersen. I was wearing black pants, a white shirt, and a cute black, orange and yellow scarf. This song came on the jukebox before they arrived and it hit me in my gut. It made me think of Chris and how much I missed him. We lived in different cities at the time.

Lie in our Graves - Chris loved this song - I remember the part where it got so quiet and then came back into the chorus and Chris would sing that part and do a little air drum thing. It makes me think of him.

Tripping Billies - an anthem! Eat, Drink and Be Merry for tomorrow we die. And this is my mantra. Even without climate change, eventually I will die, so I might as well sieze the day and make the most of each one I am given. This song has so much energy and listening to it from the perspective of the “now” me, radiates freedom, excitement, spontaneity and electricity that I didn’t realize I had access to back then. For just a few minutes driving by myself if our “fun” car - I feel 22 again…

I have such an amazing life - it is a dream come true in so many ways - so why dwell on impending doom when I am living in a dream right now?