I guess yesterday dinner was just on my mind.  Today reaffirmed that Miss Quinn is coming into her own.  She is 3 weeks shy of 1 year old and is ready to take on the world.  She is mobile and wants to be in all the action.  When we are out and about she wants to do her own exploring.  My attention is for the first time really torn.  She is no longer the cutie on my back, she is heading to toddlerhood with a vengeance.  I just don’t know how the Moms with multiple kids and early walkers do it – I am glad I am only contending with crawling at the moment. 

These days Tyler is quite independent, but he is also in attack mode such that when something happens he will pull a child’s hair or grab a child without hesitation.  He will do this to any child – younger, older, he doesn’t care.  He has something to communicate, but motions are easier than words right now.  His arms work faster than his mouth.

It isn’t impossible, it is just an entirely new challenge for me.   I keep trying to stay focused on what I am supposed to be doing.  It ocurred to me that I am not drinking enough water and with summer upon us, that is bad for Quinn’s milk.  My body can’t make milk if there is no liquid with which to make it.  Why am I not drinking more water?  I forget because I am moving so fast all the time.  I am better about packing it with me, but bad about pausing for a drink.  And there it is.  A pause.  A breath.  I still need to calm. I am still moving too fast.  I am frenetic.   It is an asset that I can think so fast and absorb so much so quickly, but I need to balance that with some pauses, breaks, and calm. 

I am also so restless.  Is it summer?  I get sick and tired of all this talk about self-care for Moms.  Do you know what a Mom needs to take care of herself?  A supportive partner who isn’t scared to share the work of parenting and a supportive family who can help out as well.  I am blessed in spades to have such a man and such a family.  A majority of Moms aren’t so blessed.  And with a partner who isn’t that helpful and no family around…well, one is pretty much screwed. I am glad there is more recognition that Moms need a lot of recharge to do their jobs…the problem how to ensure they have the available support to allow them the space and time to do this.  End rant of the day…

Tyler Tries to Save a Friend!

I have to tell this story from today.  One of the Superfriend’s Mom came down to hang out at the Farmer’s Market.  She then took her grandson to play in the water.  As she is walking away, Tyler runs over and starts talking to her something about “Sorcha” and “put Thomas down”.   He has never met Thomas’ grandma and basically thought some strange woman was walking away with Thomas and was concerned! How cool is that?  He did a similar thing at Blossom on Monday when an 19 month-old was wandering over to the gate at the fence.  He gave her this big hug trying to stop her in her tracks.  I thought that was so sweet!!  He is so crazy sometimes, but has the sweetest heart too.  He loves his friends so much!

Tyler says he needs to pee! (we continue our child-led potty training)

So Tyler and Quinn were playing on the bed with Daddy when Tyler says he needs to go pee in the potty.  I took him and sure enough he did!!  We are moving into daytime pee readiness!  I think it is about his ability to feel that he needs to go, hold it and communicate that need.  I mean the kid would sit in a wet diaper and not complain so I though- oh, he is never going to potty train.  But it isn’t about that at all for him.  I think it is all about  making the connection and having the physical ability to control it.  This kid continues to teach me so much.  There are other ways, mama..I am not like all the other kids.  So true, Tyler..so true….

Tyler is Two and a Half!

Wow, he is here.  These half birthdays always seem bigger than the whole ones to me.  He is quite the little boy.  He has a rich vocabulary and is able to communicate his wants, needs and frustrations quite clearly.  He is very active and has an active mind to match.  He is all at once fun and fascinating and frustrating and irritating.  I ride a daily rollercoaster.  He says such wonderful things and has the most amazing thoughts!  “The sky is moving, Mommy!” 

He is in the middle of learning about stuff – some is his and some is not.  He knows about “taking turns” and “trades”.  Tyler is actually such a sweet, patient boy sometimes waiting holding his hands behind his back to help him control the burning desire inside for the toy or play equipment he covets.  Some days he is not in such a patient mood and is going to use all means nescessary to retrieve the desired object.   He can be quick to tantrum when we are doing something that doesn’t jive with his plans.  It is a drop down to the floor and whine kind of thing – your typical toddler tantrum.

Daddy is so cool right now.  He is so enamored with Daddy and Daddy loves it.  He will follow behind Daddy pushing his little mower while Daddy pushes the big one.  They love to take adventures together and Tyler loves to drive Daddy’s car.  We all wait with great anticipation for Daddy to arrive home.

He loves to be outside – he is a child of nature in so many ways.  He has discovered the wondrous world of bugs, but hasn’t quite learned to quiet the impulse to squash them.  I fear for the bugs we meet sometimes!  :-p   He is the same with flowers wanting to pick every one he sees.  It makes me wonder what it must feel like to be that age and have these strong impulses pushing you to do all these things.  The inability to control it, to resist it.  Sometimes I feel like I could talk until I am blue in the face, but when the approrpiate age comes along, these not so socially-acceptable behaviours will melt away.  I sometimes think we parents give ourselves too much credit for teaching our kids these lessons.  Yes, we need to set boundaries and enforce them and yes, we need to tell them what is appropriate when something opposite is going on.  But after that, they are toddlers. 

He still eats like a horse and likes to “raid the fridge” whenever he can.  He can cut strawberries with a dull steak knife and does really well!  He is still an overzealous stirrer, so not always my favorite tasks to hand him.  He likes to help me in the kitchen, although I don’t always want all that help.  It is good though, I do want him to learn to cook.

He is incredibly curious and you can see him trying to put this world together.  He will ask what things are, what is going on and will let you know when he is confused and needs some clarifying.  He is starting to make little jokes.  We were talking about brothers and sisters and he was saying “Tyler’s brother is…Tyler”  Then he was going on about how that was silly. 

This kid is so much like me and sometimes I feel like I know and understand him so well.  Nevertheless, he is so much like me that I struggle because together we tip the scales in many areas and I have to work hard to be more of a balancing force with him.  I always say that Tyler is my teacher…teaching me how to be a Mom.  He presents me plenty of opportunities to learn and practice.  Don’t know how good of a student I am, but I keep trying.

I have been going to bed late and Quinn has had a few rough nights/early-morning wake-ups, so I am tired.  Being tired sucks.  I really shouldn’t complain because I have had it easy – I KNOW I have.  Chris handles Tyler at night and Quinn is typically a great sleeper.  I guess it just reminds me how lucky I am – that and that I am such a crankpot when I am tired.  I wanted to kick both kids out of the kitchen today – they were fussin’ and I just needed to get dinner done!!  Daddy was home late today at 6:20pm, but at least Quinn was out at 7pm.  Nice early break for me.  It is cleaning week for me – gotta make up for all the time I neglected the house working on projects. 

Taking Quinn for a Walk

Tyler LOVES to walk Quinn in her stroller now.  It cracks me up.  Today he told me that he was going to take her for a walk and walked her a pretty good distance up the block.  Mama doesn’t mind one bit – walk on, Tyler.  It is so nice to have a helper since Mama has to carry the heavy metal trike that was abandoned a half block ago..{sigh}.   I have included a still photo and a video.  Oh, and the part that cracks me up the most is when he hits uneven sidewalk and has to manuever her over it, he tips the stroller back a full 90 degrees so she is parallel with the sidewalk and then gets her over.  He does this so fast, I am surprised it doesn’t scare the crap out of her!!  It is like whoooaa Nelly!

Figuring It Out

I am trying to apply things that I have learned at our Waldorf Blossom class which ended this past Monday.  There are days I learn a song or try something new and I get so excited.  I make the mistake of setting this expectation that it will work beautifully only to get frustrated when it blows up in my face.  Today I was singing Tyler a little “get your shoes on” ditty thinking this would excite him and he would run over to me to put on his shoes.  Negative.  He wanted to play as we were getting ready to leave. 

I swear there are days I fear that by the time I get to be any good at this, the kids will be in school.  It makes it feel like it is all for not sometimes, but I push on and keep trying. I don’t know what I expect because raising kids will never be easy.  NOTHING I do will ensure a trouble-free day.  That is just the nature of life – every day is different and who knows what will piss who off today.  Maybe I keep thinking if I just do x – it will be easy, breezy.  What I seem to have trouble getting through my head is that what matters is a.) being present with my kids every day and b.) how I handle all the curve balls that are flung at me that day.  It is about being in the moment and what kind of person I show myself to be.  I won’t be perfect in every moment, but I need to try.  The kids aren’t getting any younger and I can’t get this time back.

A New Summer Rythm

Our Blossom class has ended and music class will also end in two weeks.  Swimming pools will also be opening very soon.  I am trying to put together our weekly routine for the summer months.  Big changes include me taking care of my Dad one day a week to give my Mom a break and she taking Tyler for one afternoon a week.  We will be working in the Farmer’s Market every week and I also want to run three times a week.  Finally, I want to have a BIG adventure day where we travel to some cool nearby places like Bastrop, McKinney Falls and the Children’s Museum in New Braunfels.  We will see how it works out – hopefully friends will join us.   Things always go smoother when I have a plan and we have a good routine.  I feel like I am on the ball getting ready now, of course, I am sure tweaks will occur.

More Pictures, Less Details

I was going back through the blog and wow – I included some great details in my posts, but not many photos.  I sometimes feel the pendulum has swung the other way.  Tyler says amazing things every day and tells me wondrous things and I don’t get them posted here.  Just today he dumped his food on the floor and then told me it was a “calamity”!!!  Where the hell did he get that word from?? I guess Daddy is working on the SAT words already – Jesus!  I better walk around with a dictionary.  Quinn is also saying “mama”, “daddy”, her own version on “Tyler” and we thought cat.  I LOVE that she says “mama” – she also fusses it a lot.  Tyler didn’t say “mama” until like 17 months-old.  Anyway, I want to balance out my posts because some of the details are so cool and funny.  There are all these great moments I don’t want to forget… 

Well, I have to sign off of this blogging marathon.  I have been posting for over an hour and I have so much to do and need to get to bed early…

I had it good – I knew I did.  Even with the everyday challenges posed by raising two kids, one being a rambunctious toddler – I had it easy.  Quinn was predictable and easy-going and as long as Tyler and I spent a good bit of time outside, we did allright.  And I guess for the most part it still is.  What I am having trouble with is getting dinner made. 

I had no real trouble cooking dinner as Quinn would sit and play for the most part and Tyler would either play, help me or be outside.  But “Little Miss Assertive Who Has Figured Out She Can Be Mobile and Get in on the Action” isn’t having it anymore.  She wants up and doesn’t like being on the floor while we are doing all the cool stuff on the counters.

This is a learning tower.  A lot of Moms I know have one and rave about them.  I have resisted because of the $170 price tag, but now with two kids, it might be a necessity.  Tyler has twice now burned his hands near the stove.  On this I think he could be over the stove and stir with a long-handled wooden spoon and be safe.

Of course, Quinn is nowhere near being ready to stand in one of these.  As Chris said, I just need to start making simpler meals and I have to agree with him.  That and try to get as much done during her nap when only Tyler is awake.  It is kind of annoying because I enjoy making the meals I do and used to be able to spend 30 minutes cooking while the kids were doing various things. 

It is kind of frustrating because cooking is one of those things where i like to put my head down, focus and get it done.  When I am focused on a task, I am not good at stopping midway to joke with a child or play or handle other interruptions.  I like to focus for 30 minutes until the job is done.  While seeming rather impossible with kids, I used to be able to do this for the most part.

Quinn is getting older.  She is 3.5 weeks from one year-old.  In a few months she too will be a toddler.  I know that once she begins to walk and required a more constant presence from me, it will get harder.  On our adventures, I still have really had one child to focus my attention on and that is changing.  Recognizing that she wants to play – I now set Quinn down in the rocks to play or in the swing at the parks.  On hikes or places with water, I sit with her in the water to play.  I have to be judicious about who needs my attention the most at that point.

Here is a picture of the finished bookcase with Tyler’s toys arranged on it.  I am very pleased with how it turned out.  My laquer job turned out pretty crappy and the bookcase is rather rough, but at least it is done.  Laquer is frickin’ toxic!  I did three coats over a six hour period in the garage and after each coat, I could feel a headache coming on.  And after reading an article about toxic chemicals in carseats – I have to wonder why we use deadly, toxic nastiness on EVERYTHING we make???  There are natural ways to dye eggs – couldn’t you do that with wood furniture?  I know, if I cared that much, I would have researched and done just that.  But no, I too and a part of the “want it now” generation, so I killed who knows how many brain cells to protect the bookcase with a clear finish.  Okay, rant over…

I was quite excited the first morning when Tyler had taken his garbage truck off the shelf to play with it.  I returned later to see that he had put it back when he was done!!  This is rare folks, so I had to take it in.  This is it though – these are where the kids’ toys live (not including the train table whose storage is dedicated to train stuff and one big basket of matchbox cars, trucks,etc.)  I like it – it makes me happy.  I like that everything has its place now.  And a place mind you – not junked in a drawer.

This is the chair we got from my parents.  There is a matching ottoman that is upstairs.  We have it in the living room right now and LOVE it!  I would have thought that something this size wouldn’t work, but it really helps to cozy up the room.  Its intended home is upstairs, but we have to figure out how to the hell to get it through the narrow door and hallway up there.  It also would not have a long existence down here – Tyler loves to crawl and roll on it and if you have seen Tyler’s face and hands after any meal with tomato sauce….well – he likes to rub his face and hands on everything.  So, the chair really needs to be upstairs for its own protection.

I want to make upstairs look like a cool, swank adult lounge with a play area.  I don’t know if I can accomplish this or not.  Fabric and lighting will be my friends in the transformation.  The layout of furniture in the room really won’t change.  So basically, it is new duvet for the bed and lots of huge pillows giving it a large futon feel.  I will be making new roman shades and covers for the loveseat cushions (they are all square and I don’t have the mulah to re-upholster).  I hope I can accomplish it.  The living room is really the kids place right now and it will be for years to come.  I like the idea of returning the upstairs to the retreat is used to be for us.

Of course, I am dying to get started on something pronto, so I think I will paint the downstairs walls first.  All I need to do is a pick a color.  My goal is to have the walls downstairs painted and all my fabrics put together by the time we leave for Colorado June 22nd.  That is totally doable – I will keep you posted!!

I *think* we are entering a good six months.  Suddenly, the bonks from Tyler are becoming pats more often than not.  One of my favorite moments is when Quinn is getting fussy and Tyler walks over to her, pats her head and says “It’s okay, sweetie.”   Cracks me up.  Of course, he has also recently tried to pick her up which scares the bajeezus out of her.  There have been some times recently when I can leave them alone for 5 or so minutes and they just do their thing playing alongside each other.

Quinn likes to stand at the coffee table or train table with Tyler.  When she is not trying to destroy a train configuration, she is grabbing toys and dropping them on the floor or pushing them around.  She is in FULL gravity game mode now.  It is all about gravity and dropping.  I don’t recall Tyler being as obsessed with this game.  She loves it!

In the picture at the right, I found her actually farther up the stool as Tyler was at the sink a moment before I snapped this shot.  She was ready to follow right up after him.  Tyler is hoisting himself up on think sink attempting to reach the “sprayer” – his all time favorite sink toy now.

I hope this continues.  I know that there will be arguments, disagreements and fights, but I also hope there are times of great creative play, all out giggle fits and premeditated mischief.  While the latter might drive me bonkers, their comraderie will secretly please me.  It is not a relationship I can force, but I try to support it as much as I can. 

He has all this energy, but she is quite assertive.  He is very chatty and talkative, reacting to everything, but she is very observative, not missing a beat.   I know that she will be more than able to hold her own with him.  In fact, I sometimes wonder if she will be the manipulator in this relationship and he her jester entertaining her for a giggle.  At any rate, the two of them will be quite a pair – they already are.

We went to Bull Creek with some friends the other afternoon.  Tyler had crossed to the other side and was exploring.  All of the sudden he started crying a bit, so I headed over there. 

When I reached him, he had stopped crying and was crouching down looking.  “What is that, mama? What that?”  I look.  “Tadpoles, Tyler!  Those are baby frogs!”   I don’t know why, but I think it is so cool that he discovered them and KNEW they were something new, something different – not fish, not bugs, something else.   He then told me, “little bit scary in my hands”.  I guess he had somehow gotten one into his hands and it was squirming around and scared him.  

It was a cool moment.  I enjoyed leaning over the water with him for a few more minutes watching them swim and play around.  We would give them a little nudge now and then to see them swim around.  Nature is so cool!

If there is one thing that I am proud of so far in my parenting journey, it is the natural experiences that I have been able to give Tyler.  My parents did so much of this for me as a child and I am glad I can pass on this tradition if you will.  I realize that so many kids don’t get the opportunity to hike in the woods, play in a creek or watch birds, squirrels, tadpoles, fish and turtles in their natural environments.  Tyler and I both find so much peace and joy in these places.  These adventures are usually the highpoint of my week.

Oh my Goodness!!  So you can imagine my surprise when I find this little ghost sitting on my bed!  It was time for Quinn to go to bed, but she was no where to be seen and this little ghost was picking a bad time to play!

Just as I was about to ask this ghost to leave, two little hand pop out?!?!  Who could it be??