I was driving to Blossom, our little parent/child waldorf class, when I heard some reports on NPR and my heart just sank. So many things I have heard lately concern me so much. And not too much for me, but for my kids. What kind of world will they be living in. I truly think that they will be trying to fix the numerous mistakes of previous generations.

Environmental Concerns

I believe that global warming exists. Of course over time climate change will take place; however, the odd thing is that change has been taking place at an alarming rate over the last several decades. It is the pace of change which tells me that something is amiss. We used to hear so much about the hole in the ozone layer, and recently the melting ice caps and recently the extinction of several species whose environments became uninhabitable after a slight change in the temperature. However, it is THIS report I heard on fresh air that really freaked me out.

There is a toxic bacterium floating in the ocean. Apparently it is incredibly caustic and gave fishermen who fish in the waters where it exists boils. The bacterium existic 2.7 millions years ago when the oceans were a very caustic place and it has returned. It has impressive defense mechanisms, grows incredibly fast, and actually creates its own oxygen supply. Apparently it is the result of too many nutrients in the ocean. The author says that one researcher summed it up best saying “be careful what you dump in the swimming pool and make sure the filter is working”. The author goes on to say that we have been using the oceans as a communal toilet and at the same time stripping out all the wetlands, oysters, clams, and small fish that would typically eat up this algae.

Did you know the largest ocean dead zone is off the coast of Louisiana and is the size of New Jersey?

Violence and War

I was listening to an amazing interview with Angelique Kidjo (the interview is about 3/4 through the mp3) and she had some great words about violence that really made me think. Here are a couple of the things she said loosely transcripted that really resonted with me:

- violence is so easy. When we reach war it means that we have failed to speak to eath other and have a reasonable discussion. It is so easy to go to war.

- It is so easy to hate, it is human nature. Because to love we have to love ourselves to be able to go out of ourselves and give others the benefit of the doubt. Instead when someone walks into a room, we judge them immediately.

I look at Iraq and I think that we have failed. Instead of being a neighbor to a global community, I think we are a bully. Sure we may saddle up to the table at various summits, but we have a preset expectation to how things will go. Yes, there is a time for war - I look at Hitler for instance. However, why it is that we are at war in Iraq while genocide and a slew of heinous crimes are ocurring in places like Darfur? It seems as if our priorities are really screwed up. I see no true efforts in diplomacy taking place just this assumption that “we are America and because we said so” mentality. I look at my baby girl and I think what if I was in Iraq worrying that every day I venture out, I could lose her. That is the reality in Iraq.

Then there is our gun culture. I thought that Johnathan Zimmerman at the end of this report was right on in what SHOULD have happened post-Virgina Tech shootings. We should spend our time looking at how boys grow up in America, violence in the media and why this country continues to be such a violent place. Instead, the government will spend all its time debating gun control and how the administrators at VT screwed up becasue they couldn’t protect students from one crazed student.

Our Food Supply

Have you read Fast Food Nation (read it, don’t see the movie - book I hear is better)? Our food is really not that well inspected. The food that is produced - even fresh produce - is still to some degree processed. There is now technology in the seeds even. Organic spinach can be tainted with runoff from nearby animal feed lots. And then there is this story from the NY Times about how China business use a fake protein filler in their pet feed to fake tests and save money. Great. I think it is this stuff which got into the “premium” brands of pet food over in our country. Being part of a global community means that we need to scrutinize what comes from other countries because they don’t abide by the same laws here. Not that our laws are that great if you knew what meat/food producers can get away with here. Apparently the USDA just isn’t that tough of an agency…

While I do not have the room or sunlight in my yard to grow my own vegetables, I do have access to Community Supported Agricultire and Farmer’s Market’s. I want to support and bolster local farms so they will continue to produce what they do in a fair and organic fashion. I know where my food comes from and that it is fresh. I want to buy chickens locally that are processed humanely as well as eggs. As much as we are globalizing, there seems to be a whole part of our community that is localizing. It is a wierd diachotomy that is taking place.

Capitalism/Development

I have a Bachelor’s degree in Business Administration and so I get it. Maximize shareholder profits. Keep costs low and profits high. These fundamental rules will lead companies to make choices that are NOT in the best soocial interest of its employees, the environment or this country. Wall Street does not reward companies for being nice, it rewards them for being fierce.

But there is a problem with that. Choices that developers are companies are making are harming our planet. Somehow you need to be able to be a successful company and be socially conscious at the same time. And of course, I am a part of that problem too - I own mutual funds which I want to appreciate in value. So I am supporting the system as long as it works for me. Here is one report that describes a recent research study says there is no American engineer shortage - companies just want cheap labor.

This country is so caught up in consuming and it really bothers me. Again though, what am I doing? While I am a crunchy person, I still live a fairly mainstream life. I am not writing my congressman, I am not attending protests, I am not making drastic changes in the way I live nor encouraging others to do so, I am not contributing to organizations that help. I am sitting here blogging. But I need to start doing something.

Eczema Update

It’s gone. It came and it went. I did give up dairy and gave her fish oil and probiotic which I think did help. I am eating dairy again though and no reaction. My friend said her daughter had a similar thing where it showed up and went away. Thank goodness because it really sucked! No more itching and she now wears cute sleeveless sundresses almost everyday! I have to do that because the poor girl was in long-sleeves and pants almost all spring!!

She had some rough nights sleeping lately. She then wouldn’t take a nap Saturday, fussed all day, fell asleep finally at 9pm!! Very crazy Quinn day. Maybe she is finally getting teeth. She isn’t really drooling though although I hear not all babies do. Tyler drooled buckets and buckets, so it was easy to tell when he was teething. There was a dry period in between the 1st molars and his canines and 2nd, but the drooling came back and seemed to last forever. Last night was much better..

Anyway, sleep deprivation sucks. I realize that I have had it good since she hasn’t gotten teeth yet. I am hoping maybe she will take it easy on me. Stay tuned for the answer I guess!!

She is trying to stand now! She gets in this downward dog position and it is like she is going to plant her feet and stand straight up. She loves to stand at the train table and see what is going on. She will writh around in your arms if you have made her mad by taking her away from something she was engaged in,but will also sometimes get made if you leave her to run get something.  She really wants to move so she can stay in the middle of the action.
She is now using her hand to shove food in her mouth which she then gags on. It is no fun and kind of scary. I want her to try new foods, but have to keep the closest eye on her. Tyler had a brilliant gag reflex and never choked and I trusted that. With her I am not so sure. She is eating, but sometimes bigger pieces of stuff get in her mouth and that is when trouble starts. I will be glad when she has more teeth…

She is a cutie pie and continues to shower sunshine on us everyday!

I warned my friend Susan that if she got me started knitting, she was opening Pandora’s box because my craft past would come out to haunt me.  Sure enough, I re-learned how to knit and knitted half a scard in two days.  I couldn’t put muy knitting down, but finally had to as I ran out of yarn!

So now that I love knitting again, I have decided that my son’s Chrismas gift will be a full knitted Farmyard set.  More about that later.  I have some friends who want to do it with me, so we will have a little knitting circle.  We aren’t starting until July when Susan’s kitchen project is completed.  So..what to do in the meantime, right?  This scarf will be done soon.  Hmmm..how much trouble could I get myself into?  Lots…..

That’s right - I want to knit that.  My cousin gets married in June out in Colorado and I would love to have it done then.  With all the other projects, it is probably a pipe dream, but then by the autumn hopefully.  I found the yarn and it is pretty much the similar color as the one here.  The gauge is not right, so I am going to try some stuff to compensate for that.  I may have to do a different color, but we will see.  It pains me not to dive right in, but this is a serious project and will cost some money with all that yarn.  So I need to spend some time making sure the setup is correct.  Oh, and the directions are Greek to me.  So we will see…

Oh my - I get down energy-wise for a few days and then I pop back up raring to go.  There are too many exciting projects swirling around me.  Thankfully, Chris, my voice of reason, tries to keep me from getting myself in too deep.  We have now a beautiful green backyard thanks to pulling out the back bed and tons of sod from my folks.  We are now starting to complete the fun path under these huge bushes for Tyler.  I am REALLY wanting to paint our eyesore of a gazebo green (it is white now), but am waiting.  If it were me, I would just start slapping the paint on, but Chris said it may need to be power washed.  I wanted it done for Tyler’s half-birthday, but am swallowing the reality pill that it isn’t going to happen.

Ah, yes, Tyler’s half-birthday.  I KNEW I had been wanting to do this for a while, but hadn’t settled on HOW we were going to celebrate it.  I wanted it to be festival-like and very different from his main birthday.  My friend lent me the book Circle Round and I found my answer.  The festival of Beltane / May Day.  This festival celebrates all of the living world:  plants, animals, and human beings.  It is the holiday of fertility.  It celebrates creativity and the joys of being alive!  How cool is that??  So we will have a great Beltane celebration on Tyler’s half borthday complete with ribbon sticks (instead of a Maypole for the toddlers), May Day baskets, music, merryment and lots of yummy food.  I am getting so excited about it!

Did I mention why we are doing the half-birthday?  Tyler’s b-day is so close to Christmas that he gets all this stuff at one time in the year.  It has seems that on his hlaf-birthday is when he grew and needed more clothes or had taken several developmental leaps and needed different toys.  So we are giving him toys now and on his birthday we will have a big party, but no toys.  Christmas is close enough and he doesn’t need that much. 

I am making him these awesome wood blocks for his birthday and then we are getting him some other cool wooden toys I have  been eyeing.  We are also getting a bookcase that will now hold his toys.  We will have some toys arranged and other things grouped in baskets.  I will take pictures.

I was telling a friend that I am amazed at how many different room configurations we have had in our house since having kids.  It seems we are always catching up to meet new needs.  Quinn’s mats are now gone and the toy box we so desperately needed when Tyler was 12 months old now is a perfect place to store all of our baby blankets, quilts and other blankets.  It now lives in the nursery.  Just about all of the “baby gear” is gone from the house.  I have weeded out most of the baby toys and am now working on books which need dire organization!  It is good though - it keeps the energy moving and it feels like we are always making progress.

I am now wanting to paing several walls in the house a neutral beige.  Yeah, not exciting and oh so common - but I need something to tie the rooms together.  I am tired of dirty, white walls.  I am even thinking about doing some kind of accent wall on the stairs.  I plan very soon to get Chris’s pictures hung up and they will look way better with some color..

Anyway, new topic - my new knitting addiction!

Why you ask?  Because I have my OWN digital camera!!  No longer waiting for Chris to take pictures or waiting for him to download those I may have taken with his camera - I am now armed with my own tool for recording all those crazy Hedge moments!  And I expect that for the next few weeks I will feel so oinclined to document every aspect of my life that I will be overloading you with images from the day.  It will be fun for me..and hopefully you too!!

To start with, here are some pictures of my future parter-in-crime mischief makers.  While they play together some now, in the future, they will plot together.  It will be fun to watch. I remember plotting with my brother.  I remember in our elementary years we were going to design lego buildings for the Lego company!  We even had my Dad take pictures to send to them!  :-p   It is so fun to see them checking things out together - makes me smile!

Alyssa, get out here -dance your ass off!  Lose control!  Get lost in the club, move to the music and just be.  Oh, God - I miss her.  Put me in a car at night with the right music and she is there.  It is like I visit her then.  Almost two and a half years of being a Mom and I want to just have a night or two where I can visit those parts of me who have been laying dormant.

I questioned if this is some sexual peak thing - I mean I am 3 years shy of 35.  But I have a body I want to move, I have a being I want to let out.  I want to assert myself in so many ways, I want to have intellectual conversations, I feel so incredibly powerful right now, but am powerless to use it.  Does that make sense?  Yeah - I feel like a caged animal.  And the longer I feel caged, the naughtier I want to be.  I went out for drinks with a friend a few Friday ago and was drunk after two glasses of wine - so sad!

The dancing thing kills me.  I am listening to BT’s Blue Skies featuring Tori Amos right now.  Got - get me to a dance floor.  Sad thing is - all the clubs around here suck.  So what is my fantasy?  For one night to create my own dance club.  It would play all the great music that I love to dance to - none of that booty crap.  It would be a place where me and my friends could let loose and not look out of place or like we are too old to be there. 

Someone tell me why dance is supposed to only be for young people..or at least that I the feeling I get.

Back on topic.  I keep thinking - 6 to 8 more months and I can leave without fear of a child waking up and specifically needing ME.  And for a while, I will abuse this - I know I will.  And it isn’t about dates with my huuby - it is about getting out with my friends, dancing and just being out at night.  And there will be dates with my hubby too…he won’t be left out. 

I guess it is my individuality that is needing attention.  Me without a husband and kids attached to me.  The power of my individual self.  I need to reconnect with myself and know that there are parts of me that are still there.  That I haven’t completely lost myself in motherhood. 

Really, it is all still far away, but it getting closer and I am very excited.  And I know that I am lucky, lucky that I as a Mom and will be able to get back to that place - I don’t think all Moms get that luxury…

Feeling Jipped over Teething!

Oh, how I waited for him to be done teething!  It would mean that he would be this easy kid who was no longer frustrated by the pain of teething and would sleep through the night.  Um, yeah, right.  See he is two and I fail to realize that in this year there is a bunch of crap that is going to piss him off.  I would say he has been in a tougher phase since he finished teething.  He still wakes up at night, although that is all over the place.  Usually though the wakings are few (one or two) and brief.  The last two nights he has actually slept through.  Though oddly, he woke up both mornings crying.  This morning it seemed like he had a bad dream.

Anyway, I think I have nixed the teething party for now.  He does have all his teeth though.  So a huge milestone there.  I can’t complain - I got what I asked for which was to NOT have two kids teething at once.  I didn’t care about the diapers, but let them teethe one at a time.  So I have to be happy about that one!

Potty Time!

Today Tyler asked to go “poop”, but only peed.  Don’t know if he thought he had to poop or what.  At any rate, I think for now I will let him lead.  He is pretty much day-pooped trained and I am hoping at some point will decide to pee in the potty too.  I am still amazed how long he will sit in a wet diaper.  I don’t think he knows when he is about too.  Being that he always tells us when he has to poop, I would think if he had a pee urge, he would react the same way??  Dunno - but no rush.  We are in a good place potty-wise and I have to motivation to make any changes at this time.