A Great Moment with my Two!
So we were meeting a friend at Bull Creek for some afternoon fun. Sweet Home Alabama was on the radio when I parked. I left the car on and went to Quinn’s side to get her out first and in the sling. As I was unbuckling her, I was dancing about and singing. I looked up and both kids had huge smiles on their faces while watching me. I wish I had a picture of it. My heart melted and it was one of those moments when I thought, “I love being a Mom”.

Yummy Dinner!
I want a Martha Stewart award folks!! So Chris and I both have gotten so tired of the food we were eating. It was from this service where you get pre-assembled meals every month. We were doing it to ease the pressure on me having to cook every night while caring for both kids. Well, Chris was done with the main meat course and 2 vegetable sides and so was I.

Anyway, so I searched for new recipes and hit the jackpot. So the other day I made a Squash-Leek Quiche (with homemade pie crust) and a Quinoa Pilaf. I can’t forget Chris trying it and going “this is good” and then trying the Quinoa and with an air of surprise said “this is good too!” It was awesome and I felt like I had made a gourmet meal for my family. It put some wind in my sails to continue to dig up some new recipes. It was fun for me to cook something new. I really don’t have the energy to cook if I am not even looking forward to the food, ya know?

Oh, and these yummy recipes can be found at The Veggie Table if you are interested.

Quinn A Dream to Get to Sleep
Now I am smart enough the second time around to know that nothing lasts forever especially when it comes to kids. Easy kids turn difficult and vice versa. But for now, stick a pacifier in her mouth, maybe rock her a little, lay her down and she is gone! She gets so mad if you do any more. I am hoping that we will not every have the need for me to boob her to sleep like Tyler. At around 4 months, I will start working on making sure she doesn’t need the pacifier to go to sleep. The only reason there is that, when she wakes up she will want it and that means I have to wake up to stick it in her mouth. I am new to the pacifier as Tyler never took one, so it will be an adventure.

No Fan for You!
This happened a long time ago, but my friend thinks it is so funny, so I wanted to post it. One day, Tyler wouldn’t nap and I was quite pissed off about it. I put him in his crib and he started to play with the dial for the fan turning it on and off. So I stormed into the room and took the dials off so he couldn’t play. My friend likened this to the Soup Nazi in Seinfield “No fun for you!”. She said she could just see me storming in their yanking them off….

Dipping my Toes in the Water
I have all these Moms around me who have so much conviction. I am a closet waffler afraid to make decisions. I kind of know what I want, but am nervous about what choice is the “right one”. Fear of failure – it gets me every time. So it has been this way about teaching Tyler manners. Thank you was easy to model and I never had to tell him to say it. He just started using it. Granted he doesn’t use it with strangers, but does with those familiar to him. I didn’t want anyone to tell him use please, but now I am changing my opinion thinking that is okay. I do think a great deal about these things and have to sort of try on these philosophies. It is all trial and error. So far, I think my kid is doing just fine and isn’t going to be a social deviant. However, sometimes I wish I had my feet planted more strongly in the ground and could better articulate why I believe in one thing versus another or what concerns me about various philosophies. I think people would take my choiced more seriously if I could. Dunno. Thoughts from a waffler who likes using “dunno” to strip any hint of conviction from her opinions when she isn’t sure about them…. {sigh}

We are working on sleeping together again. We moved the master bedroom downtairs a while back that way I could handle Tyler when he awoke without worrying about waking Chris and could be closer to Tyler. Somehow I couldn’t sleep as soundly upstairs because I always worried I wouldn’t hear Tyler. Chris stayed upstairs so he could get a full nights sleep and so that he could get up at 6am and go to the gym. His going to gym in the morning alleviated a lot of the evening stress where I wanted a break when he got home from work and he wanted to go to the gym. It really worked great. He also lost the “sympathy weight” from Tyler and overall was much happier.

Now with the weaning, we are working on getting Tyler to stay in his bed and accept comfort there instead of coming to our bed. Chris is sleeping downstairs with Tyler and I am sleeping upstairs with Quinn. This facilitates the nightweaning as the boob is far, far away. We are making progress.

I have been okay with our sleep situation as it has served its purpose, but I am ready for a change. As they say, if you resent it, change it. Anyway, that is where we are.

Oh, and Quinn sleeps in bed with me or in the co-sleeper and Chris can easily share a bed with us. I am not so worried about her as she is already a much different child then Tyler with a much different nightwakining pattern. Hopefully that coupled with our experience will make a difference.

I love this picture of Chris as he looks so content – I only wish Tyler’s eyes were open. I now undertand what people mean when they talk about the importance of putting your marriage before your kids. I know that not all people share that view, but I do. Especially with two, it is so easy for Chris and I to get the kids to bed and go to our corners enjoying our smidgeon of free time. Since we sleep seperately at this time, there is no pillow talk to be had. I realize that as we live this way and don’t connect on a more intimate level, it is easy to start harboring resentment and play these guessing games with each other.

We had an argument the other day and I felt like giving up. I just wanted to retreat to my corner hoping Chris would come after me. Sadly, I saw today how childish that was. I remember in Kindergarden how we would antagonize the 4 year-old boys and get them to chase us so we could act like damsels in distress and call for Chris Riddle, the cutest boy in our class, to come save us. How sad that 25 years later I still play this game with my husband. Fortunately, I slept on it and realize how ridiculous I am being. It is like I don’t want to suck it up and make things better – I want to win this fight. I think a lot of people do that in relationships. In the end, it is just ego and pride. This is a marriage, not a kids’ game. Not in a second would I ever leave this man who has been my amazing parter for the last 10 years. I think a marriage is worth sucking up some pride – one would hope anyway.

Being disconnected is not that hard to fix – I just have to make sure I come up with something that he would be interested in as well as myself. Hence, my original suggestion that we take Friday nights to sit down and talk was not met with much enthusiasm. Then my Mom, to whom I don’t give enough credit, asks me if there is a game he likes. Well, there is and we haven’t played it in a while: Fluxx. I told him that for our anniversary that is all I want. I don’t want to spend money on dinner, I just want to sit down after the kids have gone to bed, enjoy some yummy beverage and play a game. It is a start.

Finally, I can’t lay my unhappiness on him. I need to take responsibility for balance in my life. I need to figure out what I need and what I want and make it happen. I am aggressive in so many areas of my life, but when it comes to being a little selfish I flounder. I have a horrible pattern of self-sacrifice, harboring resentment and then taking it out on others (read: Chris). I am taking a class next week that will delve into some of these issues and provide some much needed time for self-reflection. I have also thought that if I really needed to get away – there is this wellness center with amazing grounds in town – the Crossings. For $35, you can have access to their grounds and amenities for the day. I could take a book and head out there to read, take a walk, enjoy some yummy food, and take time for myself. Also, Quinn will get older and I will find time to get the excercise I need.

I don’t know. I had a really good night’s sleep last – the first in a long time. My head is so clear and I feel so much more positive. It is nice to feel like I am acting like an adult for once and not a child. Anyway, Chris is watching Monday Night Football, so I think I will join him for a bit before I head to bed.

Oh and Quinn went to bed super-early and the kitchen cleaned up fast, so I had lots of time to blog. I had a lot to enter today, so it is just as well…..

I was thinking about all of the things we ask of our children and how many adults violate those rules. How well do we share? How well do we delay gratification? Do we always say please and thank you and I’m sorry? Do we always wash our hands? Do we show genuine remorse when we hurt others? With each thing I ask of Tyler, I have to watch myself and make sure I am not being a hypocrite. Do we adults really share? We lend things to people when we are done with them. Do we ask kids share toys when they aren’t “done” with them?

I sometimes think kids make better adults than adults do….

Sitting and Standing
Quinn loves to stand and sit assisted still, of course. If you want to get a smile out of her these days, which is not very hard anyway, just stand her up. She is finally starting to enjoy her activity gym a bit. She will practice rolling, looking around and swatting at toys. She talks all the time too! She is the sweetest thing. I feel like I have her cries down for the most part – diaper, hungry, tired or bored pretty much. Oh, and in the car, which she still dislikes, but I sense we are turning a corner as I have seen her looking around a bit more and playing with a toy here and there. Like Tyler, she loves the outdoors. If she is crying, you take her outside and she stops almost immediately. Take her back inside and she starts right up again!! Good thing we are outside quite a bit!

Quinn is my partner in crime helping me look after her wild, crazy brother. When he is napping and she is awake, we will share giggles and smiles. I just don’t remember all that with Tyler – or not at this age anyway. But I blogged this at 2.5 months for Tyler:

He is getting so aware and it is sooo fun!! He smiles, giggle and coos!! These are the things that make it sooo worth it. I love the noise he makes after a sneeze, his squeal of delight when he sees something he loves and his sighs. I just melt! He is really aware of his surrounds and will just examine everything around him. He absolutely loves celing fans – it is like one giant mobile to him I guess.

I guess you really do forget. I know I seem a bit nuts about blogging everything, but for me, I don’t want to forget. I want to document the changes in the kids, the cute things they do, the lessons I learn, the good times and the bad times. I feel lucky to have a second opportunity to enjoy a little baby. It does go by fast.

We also don’t remember Tyler being as happy. One thing I thought was that Quinn sleeps so much better at night and maybe that is the difference. At least this time around I know that when a baby falls asleep at 7:30 or 8pm, that isn’t a nap, that is bedtime. Tyler used to do that and we thought around 9 ot 10, he was getting up from a nap and would get him up. Little did I know the kid was hungry and wanted to eat and go back to bed.

So we have had two amazing days here in Texas. I think it was 68 degrees Sunday morning – I had to grad a sweatshirt!! Ironically, Saturday was the Autumn Equinox and first day of Autumn. I say ironic, because usually here in Texas that doesn’t mean a darn thing. Maybe after the August torture, Mother Nature decided we could use a break (and some rain)!

Kicking a Ball
So I was on iVillage looking at developmental milestones for a 3 month-old because I have forgotten what they are. Everything with Tyler felt so slow and it is such the opposite with Quinn. Anyway, I thought I would check on a 2 year-olds as well. Tyler has pretty much done everything on the list except kick a ball. Well, we thought we would remedy that on Sunday. Chris has a small ball for him and we took him to a grassy area at Zilker. Tyler LOVES kicking a ball. He did his cute Tyler run giggling gleefully all over the place kicking the ball. It was almost like he wanted to play soccer asking me to kick the ball too. It was too fun! Chris and I thouroughly enjoyed watching Tyler wear himself out and having such a great time doing it! :-p

2.5 Puzzles!
Today Tyler was playing quietly for a bit. I decided to capitalize and brought over two puzzles – his name puzzle (has the letters spelling his name) and an animal puzzle. He completed each puzzle once and started to do the animal one again, but stopped midway through. I was really excited that he got through both of them and didn’t get bored or quit right away.

Deep Breaths!
I don’t take a lot of credit for what Tyler does. I may guide and teach, but he is his own little man and has good days and bad ones like anyone else. But there is one thing I am so glad I taught him and I hope it sticks. When he gets frustrated, I tell his to take a deep breath (then I take one) and try again. As we was doing the above puzzles, he would take a deep breath if he got stuck on a piece. I didn’t even prompt him. I think it is a good thing and I was really excited that he did it. And sure enough when he would try again, he would get it. Pretty neat stuff!

Nap Paranoia
Geez, I have been so paranoid lately that if I don’t get Tyler out of the house for at least two hours every morning he won’t nap. I love to be outside, but some mornings, like this one, it just didn’t happen and things were fine! It was a georgous morning, but we didn’t have anything planned and going to a park where no one else is there is really boring. We were outside in the backyard for a bit, but for the most part it was an inside day. It was fine, I even cleaned a little while Tyler was playing choo-choo’s. Here is the crazy thing – he napped for 2 hours! I don’t know what I was worried about. Maybe the calm morning even contributed to his nap. Who knows. Tyler’s weaning has helped me to relax and slow down a bit, maybe this will as well.

How are his naps by the way?
The walks are still working and the weather has gotten so nice, I really enjoy them. We have a nice little routine going and Tyler doesn’t even fight the walk. I ask him which toy/train engine is going with us and we are off. He is pretty regularly out around 1pm. Depending on her day, sometimes Quinn will sleep as well and sometimes she will be up.

How is the weaning going?
We just finished Day 8 of no nursing – so one week down. He still asks occasionally, but doesn’t really push it. If he is near my boobs, he will say things like “ouchies” and “no milk”. So far, so good. Nursing Quinn incognito is sometimes challenging, but given she only nurses about 6 times a day, it isn’t that bad. I always keep some pumped milk in the fridge in case I need to give her a bottle, but that hasn’t happened yet. It is looking good, but I still am counting to 28 days. I am so much happier and as a result, I see a difference in Tyler’s demeanor too. Looking good folks, looking good.