Here my baby is just 6 days old. She has a whole life ahead of her. And at the same time I see my parents slowly getting older and dealing with scary ailments. My father has aphasia which is somewhat similar to Alzheimer’s, but is more rare and we think my mother may have rheumatoid arthritis. Sadly, it won’t be confirmed until the end of July, so we have to wait and see. I am still at a time in my life where I need my parents and it is scary to realize that soon they will need me more. I will be doing more of the “taking care of” part.

My Nana died when I was 14 and my Grandmother is still living although she is not well. I want my kids to have both their grandparents around for several years. I don’t want my kids to see them as frail and sick. My Dad’s illness is getting very advanced and I see how hard it is to take care of him. When my Mom is here helping us, she is not only watching Tyler, but having to care for my Dad. And since he is not home, he is more likely to throw tantrums just like Tyler.

It just makes me sad. It is probably harder for me to see my Mom getting sick. She has always been a strong, feisty woman and is walking a hard road with my Dad. It is hard to see her have to deal with physical ailments of her own on top of all that. And my Dad can’t help her - he won’t even understand that she has an illness too.

Sadly, they need to stay in San Antonio because it really is best for my father, but at some point I really hope they will move here. I would feel so much better if they were closer and we could more easily support them. My Mom has done so much for me and for us and I would really like to be able to return the favor as they age. Also, my brother and his family are here, so it would really be nice. The difficult thing would be finding them a house near all of us as housing prices continue to rise in Austin. Their San Antonio home won’t be an even trade for something in North Central Austin. Everything happens for a reason and happens when it does for a reason - so I will cling to that and just hope it all will work out at some point.

It is life and we will just have to deal. I have such mixed emotions at this time - all at once filled with great joy and great sadness.