One of the thing that amazes me about having a child is what comes to light about your relationship with your partner. Chris and I have known each other a long time and I am surprised to learn that after all that time we still didn’t communicate well. A child forces a great deal of teamwork in a relationship. For each of us to be happy, we have to work together and communicate what we want and need and how we feel…and we have to this EVERY DAY because EVERY DAY is different. It takes a lot of work, but when you do it - it works so well.

I think that to some degree Tyler has gotten easier, but Chris and I are still hammering out the teamwork part. We had a great talk on Saturday and are working to make sure we both get what we need and don’t resent each other.

We needed some comic relief (oh, how we miss Dave Chapelle), so we rented the first season of Scrubs Sunday and have been watching about 3 episodes a night. We have been laughing so hard - that show is so funny!! Now that Tyler is in bed at 9pm - we can have a little couple time and do stuff like that.

Some days it does feel like hard work to be in a relationship. It sucks to have to argue and fight and figure it out, but the upside is that our relationship gets better every time. We get closer, we get stronger and are more connected. I feel so fortunate to have a partner who believes in working it out and doesn’t give up on me or us.

Was reminded by my dear friend Susan that babies need sleep last Friday. I had gotten kind of lazy about putting Tyler to sleep. If he wasn’t ready to go right to sleep when I rocked him, we went and played until he seemed tired. We did this little dance until he finally went to sleep. I started doing this because I was tired of sitting in the nursery all night trying to get him to sleep. The problem with this dance is that Tyler wasn’t getting enough sleep at night. He was getting about 8 to 9 hours and needed more like 10. Also, he was skipping naps.

Now we stick to our nighttime routing and had added spending 45 minutes to an hour at the pool in the evenings to tire him out. After that we go on a nice, long 30 minutes walk, give him a bath and then head to the nursery. This time I give it about 40 minutes and it still takes that long most nights. I also have an exercise ball in there, so if he still isn’t that tired, we bounce on that for about 10 minutes. Since Sunday he has been asleep around 9pm and it is nice. Chris and I have couple time again and I can actually get a couple of things done before I go to bed.

I also make sure he gets that afternoon nap as well. He does so much better and at least if he is fussy, I can rule out that he is tired. Lately, I think it is “I want to crawl” frustration and that he may be getting his two front teeth at the same time. I really appreciate my friend pointing all this out to me. It has made a huge difference and we are all a lot happier.

I finished Harry Potter: The Order of the Pheonix. It took me a long time to actually start reading the Harry Potter Books, but I have just read 4 and 5 back to back. I HAD to get Book 5 finished because it was killing my sleep. I was staying up late to read and then when I put the book down was lying in bed trying to figure out all the mysteries. It is such a good yarn!! I was even trying to read while getting Tyler to sleep (no small feat there as he is so squirmy and distracted…..he likes putting his hands all over the book!)

So now I am free and can sleep peacefully knowing how the book ends. Chris is reading Book 6, so I will get back on the HP roller coaster when he is done. So sad there will only be 7 books - I wish she would write 30!

I really admire Bono’s efforts to eradicate poverty and was even going to check out the One website to see whatelse I can do. After reading this article about a conservationist who has taken photos that reveal the human footprint in Africa, I agree that their efforts may be a little misguided. I think that the something needs to be done immediately to stop the bleeding so to speak, but that when talking about long-term solutions, this guy is definitely on the right track. There is a symbiosis between the people and the land. Constant aid from the outside does not address the issues of the destruction of the land. I have heard stories about deals that ship our garbage to third-world countries. Yes, give us your diamonds, here is our trash.

Well-meaning projects in some areas are doing more harm than good.

Hundreds of hippopotamuses crowd into what is left of the Katuma River in Tanzania’s Katavi National Park August 17, 2005. The near-motionless hippos are fighting for life as they lie in just inches of water. Irrigation for agriculture near this river is the suspected cause of the hippos’ plight.

Fay said he believed international aid to Africa must be transformed to preserve the continent’s basic resources instead of extracting them for wealthy nations. Natural resources and conservation management should be part of the psyche of African governments and people worldwide to help make African countries more self-sustaining and so that the world won’t keep seeing them as places of constant crisis, he said.

Read the full article.

Ug, well my “new attitude” faded fast yesterday. Trying to break up our evening routine, we took Tyler to the pool yesterday. Of course, we go there 10 minutes before closing, so that killed that. Then tried to get Tyler in the Burley jogger (been a while since we tried it) and he lasted about 15 minutes. We spent so much money on this thing and our child hates it…. I was ready to give up on it yesterday, but I think we just need to keep trying him in it to get him used to it and see if the intervals he lasts start to get longer. He may also prefer to bike in it since he can see us while he is in there.. Will probably try to bike with him this weekend.

Acutally, my whiny mood last night was mainly because I hadn’t been to the gym. I need that outlet. And I am just frustrated with our evening routine - it is drudgery some days. One of us goes to the gym, the other goes to the gym and then I spend who knows how long trying to get Tyler to sleep and then it is bedtime. I just want us to be able to have a little family fun time here and there and not always have to wait for the weekends to have fun. With summer ending we won’t be able to take him to the pool (they are closing with school starting) or go on late evening rides anymore.

The Test
I am being tested because this is the first time my child is really fussy and this is not a newborn fussy. It is a “I’m aware of my world and it is pissing me off right now” fussy. Wow, Mommy feels the same way… :-p The test is how to be in a bad mood yourself, but find the energy to give your child the empathy and sympathy they are requiring at the moment. Boy, that takes a lot of work. Poor Tyler - he even gets mad when the pets leave the room! I don’t know if it is because he can’t control them or can’t follow them or both….

Hands are Cool
On a funny note, Tyler was fascinated with his hands yesterday. He held one hand up in front of his face opening and closing it. He was mesmerized by this. He wriggled his other hand out and began poking the opening and closing hand. It was pretty funny. Also, was holding onto my finger and pulled it down on his chest. I then pulled his arm up above his head. He would pull my finger down to his chest and then I pulled the arm up again. He thought this was hilarious - he and Mommy were playing a game. His giggles totally rock.

I L-O-V-E Flylady!!! I wanted some positive vibes and realized I needed to get back into my routines. I found a bunch on testimonials on Flying with Babies which was helpful. Also, she has a new thing called “New Attitudes” where members sent in their whine and then had to reply to themselves with a positive response. I love this site because it has such a positive and hopeful vibe. All at once you feel like you are in the same boat with 200,000 other people and we are all trying hard to make things work in our families. Makes me happy and is what I totally need right now.

Chris and I were talking about how we need to clean the floors more since Tyler will be crawling soon. Chris’ response was “more work to take away our time”. At that point I realized that I needed to change my attitude and hopefully that will rub off on him. If I am always stressed and grumpy, he will be too. I realized that I pride myself on creativity and I think that it is about time I start to use some of that. I have let myself get in this routine drudgery and I need to snap all of us our of that. Life ain’t perfect and learning to really roll with the punches will help me with raising my kids and whatever career I choose to go after next.

I am sooooo HAPPY right now! If any Moms out there are reading this - check out Flylady.com. I have been on her site for like 2 years now, but stopped after Tyler came. Really is a great resource….

…and so is Tyler. It seems we have hit that famed fussy stage they go through right before crawling. More than ever now, he is sure of what he wants and is not happy when he can’t get it. He fusses when I go to change his diaper. He definitely needs a change, but I think that just isn’t what he wanted at the moment.

Fights Sleep
He fights sleep like the dickens. He arches his back and squirms when I try to nurse him to sleep at night. My Mom almost fell out of her chair when I told her he was refusing the boob! :-p It was like..wow, this is big. We haven’t been able to get him to bed before 10pm - last night was after 10:30pm.

Wants Mommy
Yesterday, he was playing in his crib with Daddy, when I made a phone call. Chris said when he heard my voice, he pulled up and was clamoring over the crib to get to me. He did that his morning at Susan’s. When I left, he turned around and attempted to crawl in my direction upset. (That kills me when he does that..)

Growing Up
Oh, and he is starting to refuse his solids sometimes. It is all quite amazing really. He is growing into a little boy and is expressing himself. Some days it is tiring, but I think it is just requiring me to step up my game and get creative. He is so fascinated by his world, that he gets bored. He wants to be out touching, tasting and inspecting everything he sees. I think in the afternoons we may start going to the swimming pool - especially if his nap schedule moves to this new schedule.

Lots of Planning to Do - What are your thoughts?
Well, Tyler’s 1st birthday is on the horizon. Any ideas on what we should do? I definitely want it to be low key whatever we do. Also, Halloween is coming up. Tyler costume ideas anyone?