I have been thinking about role models. We want our kids to be generous, to share, to be compassionate, loving, patient, kind – all those good things. What about learning to laugh when things blow up in your face or learning to dust yourself off after a failure? And how do we expect them to learn these things? Of course, we will teach them….tell them to share their toys with their playmates, etc.

They will also learn from watching us adults. That makes me wonder – how good am I at sharing? How compassionate am I? Do I show compassion when I am chewing out the slow driver in front of me? Do I treat the cashier as a human being or just a part of a transaction? If my cashier seems down, do I ignore her or do I show kindness by offering an encouraging word? Do I give of my time and money to others? Do I show love openly to my husband, pets, family and friends?

I hear folks talk about how awful today’s kids are – how selfish, self-serving, greedy, rude, unkind, etc. But maybe parents have to look in the mirror and ask from where their kids may have learned those behaviors. I am not saying all kids are bad or that we parents are all bad … just that kids watch us closely and learn from how we interact with the world.

It just reminds me that having a child will make me a better person because unknowingly he is holding me accountable for my actions every day. He reminds me that we are all people just trying to do our best. The world isn’t out to piss me off – it is just life. I have to be patient, kind, compassionate and maintain a sense of humor about it.

(laughing) I guess Tyler is going to teach me some life lessons before I get around to teaching him any. Thanks, Tyler – your Mommy appreciates it!

Fear… it is so absolutely powerful. I realized how much of my life is affected by the things I fear…namely failure. And what would be so bad if I failed – I mean could I really screw up my life that much with one large mistake. Probably not….but that fear of failing keeps me conservative…keeps me from taking risks.

I suppose to some degree fear is healthy – it helps us set limits for ourselves. I will not try cocaine because a.) I know drugs are dangerous and b.) I fear how my body would react to them.

I want to break free of that fear though – I am a talented individual, but have always taken the easier, clearer, surer path because it was safe. Now that I am planning on staying home with my children for a few years, I will have an opportunity to retool. I can do something new when the kids go to school. Choose another career. That is so exciting to me. I just hope that once I settle on what this new career will be, that I can remain committed and follow through.

On the fear note, I realize that all through my life I relive elementary school over and over again. I realize that as Tyler grows, we will need to make new parent friends. Tyler will need to have playdates and it would be nice to have other families to socialize with. Anyway, today as we were in the pool with the other parents at swim lessons, I just felt like I was back in school… having to meet new people, wonder if they will like you, wonder if they will like other people more than you, etc. It is kind of silly really….

Anyway – I am sure this is all random – I am pretty tired. Going to head to bed…so glad tomorrow is Friday.

Ya know, I don’t know that I posted this update. After 3 different lower respiratory illnesses in 3 months, we were concerned that Tyler wasn’t doing well in daycare. According to our doctor, some kids sail through without much more than a stuffy nose and for other children every little virus and infection stick like glue. Tyler seemed to be of the latter. The bronchiolitis messed up his lung tissue a bit and has left him open for additional lower respiratory illnesses. For example, his 3rd illness was a viral infection that should have been a basic head cold and stopped there. But it went to Tyler’s lungs and he was wheezing and coughing againg. We are nebulizing him with some steriods to help his lungs heal up a bit.

Now, it isn’t as bad as it sounds. He is a happy kid sick or healthy and is not in any serious danger or anything. We just don’t like to see the little guy sick and since he seems susceptible to illness, thought we should change his environment.

Luckily our dear friend Susan who has a baby Tyler’s age was talking about part-time work and maybe taking care of another child while at home. Well with me working part-time, that was perfect for Susan and the rest is history. Tyler now goes to visit his friend Piper and seems to be having a great time. He seems very happy there.

I really did like his daycare. It is a wonderful place and maybe when Tyler is older and ready for playmates, he will return. I know he is getting even better care with Susan (who is an amazing mother) and will stay healthier.

It is also funny to watch the two interact – Tyler and Piper watch each other all the time. Susan had some hilarious video of the two of them!!

Roly Poly Boy
Well, Tyler has figured out how to roll from his back to his stomach. Ever since, he has been our roly poly boy enjoying his new skills. It is really cute to watch him roll around!

Sitting More
Tyler is also improving his sitting skills. It is amazing just how complex it is for the babies to learn to sit. He is starting to get more balance. As long as he is leaning forward he is fine, but needs some help when he sits backwards.

Swimming Lessons!
We started swim lessons with Tyler this week. He seems to be enjoying them for the most part. We have learned all these little games to play that help him become comfortable in the water and movements that aid him in learning to swim and float. We all go as a family and have a pretty good time. His girlfriend, Piper, is also taking lessons and is doing great. She loves to splash in the water with her hands.

Busy, Busy.
Sorry I haven’t been posting – I have just been busy and actually doing work at work! :-p

Making Babies
Hehehehe….. I think we may start trying again in a few months…. We will see what the gods have in store for us. I am still nursing, so it may not be that easy this time around. I would love to be pregnant by December.

So, a friend sent me this link from a Seattle news station. A reporter, Ken Schram, gives commentary about breastfeeding in public. Watch the end – it is hilarious!

Breastfeeding Commentary

What I think is funny is that people portray women and “whipping it out”! Most women discreetly nurse through nursing tops where everything is hidden when the baby is nursing or pull their shirts down so you can’t see anything. When we go to a restaurant, I will ask for a booth or a table in the corner so that I face a wall or am more hidden from people. I think of it like cycling courtesy. We cyclists share the road and by being courteous to our car companions, set an example and give cyclists a good name. I hope that by being as courteous as I can while nursing in public, people will become more comfortable and more accepting of it.

The reasons Moms nurse in public in the first place is that we would like the freedom to go places with our babies. If we can’t nurse, we have a screaming,unhappy child. I think most people would prefer a quiet child to that any day.

Just some thoughts..enjoy the clip…what I find most amusing is that guy is from Seattle which I always thought was a fairly liberal city…

Tyler just slept for 2.5 hours…wish I knew it was going to be a long one. I did get dinner made and the dishes washed… But I just started to blog and the child woke up. Sometimes I just wish I had more warning…would plan to have gotten more done. It is like being in a record store – you don’t remember what you wanted to buy until you are back home. I did spend some time sitting on my butt eating ice cream… Maybe it is just as well that I took a little break…

My husband is also upstairs alseep…. Got to go get the baby….

Chris informs me that the “spider” hanging from the activity gym is actually a ladybug. So perhaps Tyler likes bugs?