Cause ever since I tried
Trying not to find
Every little meaning in my life
It’s been fine
I’ve been cool
With my new golden rule

Numb is the new deep
Done with the old me
I’m over the analyzing
Tonight

Stop trying to figure it out
(you try to figure, you try to figure it out)
It will only bring you down

And all this science
I don’t understand
It’s just my job
Five days a week

And I think it’s gonna be a long, long, time
‘Til touchdown brings me ’round again to find
I’m not the man they think I am at home
Ah, no no no…
I’m a rocket man

Great song.. Rocket Man. Ya know – all my life I have wanted to be somewhere where I could make a difference and it would be nice to get paid a little money for it. These days I am thinking that goal may be more about simply earning a living and making a difference by raising my kids. I know people who have jobs where they do make a difference and they aren’t necessarily experiencing that “making the world better” high. You have these expectations when you are younger. I think that is the crappiest part about getting older – you become jaded, a “realist”, and cynical. It is like life just sucks the optimism right out of you.

Dunno…I guess it is all about perception and expectation. Perhaps if I adjust those two things, I would have a better outlook…

Well maybe the mood is contagious or something… My friend Laura was feeling like crap yesterday, and today I am in the same boat. She probably has many more justifications for it – I just need to whine.

Dunno – just having one of those “too much to do, no time to do it, and no help to help me get anything done”. I am probably being a martyr, but I will play the pregnancy card here and say with 5 weeks to go, I need some assistance. I am pretty bad about asking for help and accepting it, so that is also my problem.

Anway, trying to cook several meals and get them frozen. My dilemma is – in what containers do I freeze them? I could by those little Glad things – although I am really annoyed that they are not recyclable (no one takes 5 down here). Don’t want to buy a lot of expensive Tupperware because this is kind of a one time thing…

Don’t know why I am usually in a foul mood on Friday. Was like this last week – where the one redeeming thing about the day was that it was Friday. Dunno. I just feel hopeless today…work doesn’t really help that. Most of the people around here are not very optimistic and I can’t be that way for everyone. Maybe that is it – I just feel so much pressure – pressure that Alyssa will take care of it because Alyssa always does. There are days when I like being superwoman and there are days when superwoman needs an assistant. Additionally, I feel horrible when I can’t be helpful – like at work – I don’t have the skill set to do several tasks and that ticks me off. It makes me feel useless.

Well – I should get off of this moaning and groaning and start getting some of the work I am capable of completing done. Thanks for listening to me gripe.

Well, slowly starting to learn blogger – I have a title to my blogs now! Woo-hoo! I am trying to get my archive and comments stuff working. Still need to learn the template tags and how to set them up. For any of you using Mozilla – some of the look and feel is messed up and I hope to correct that soon. I am really enjoying getting the site updated – kind of wish I had started this months ago so I could get the pics updated as well, but all in due time I suppose.

Happy 35 week birthday Tyler! We are down to 5 weeks!! Chris and I will update his site this weekend with more nursery and belly shots. I will let you guys know when it is updated.

I have not been very productive at work this week – so here is hoping I can make up for that today!! You all take care and have a great day!

Hey all! Geez, I have been trying to get into blogger all morning and finally got in… Well, I am pretty disappointed about the election. I also had no realization that Texas was part of national master plan with all the redistricting crap. Tom Delay has got to be one of the most powerful republicans after pulling all that off. The one positive is that I am energized and hope I will stay that way. I am going to keep a closer eye on my representatives and participate in our democracy. Voting was empowering and I want to continue to hold the people who respresent me accountable for their actions or lack thereof.

Been doing a lot of thinking about life lately. So funny that I will be 30 in March and still feel like a kid. There are certain things that I thought I would have all figured out by now, like what I want to be when I grow up. I am trying to learn to let go of my fear of uncertainty and be patient that life will unfold as it will and all I can do is try to enjoy every moment. Sounds so simple, but I am such a planner! :-p Tyler is going to help his Mommy learn those lessons though as he has his own plans that probably will very rarely parallel mine!

So my OB/GYN told me to watch the junk food these last few weeks and I decided to hell with that! :-p The folks here had Mangia Pizza (very good stuffed pizza) and brownies here at work today. Such perfect comfort food! C’mon – I am a pregnant lady who needs to eat! I figure I will give the doggies a long walk tonight – poor things have been neglected lately since we have been preparing for Tyler.

Have a good day and I will chat with you later!

Hey All –

Back from the doctor. Well, the baby’s heartbeat sounds good. It is so comforting to hear his little heartbeat and know he is okay. I have gained another 5 lbs. Overall, I am not too concerned about the weight, but I do know how this 5 lbs got here.. :-p I am at 33 pounds and don’t want to gain much more – more for my comfort than anything else. My feet are starting to swell a little and sleeping at night is not fun these days. Much of that is attributed to the extra weight I am hauling around.

I have always tossed and turned when I slept and I wonder how Tyler enjoys getting tossed around every night. Sometimes I try to support him as I turn over, sometimes I forget. Sometimes I make it to my back and fall asleep… never getting to the other side!

Anyway – the only thing that has me a little freaked out is that in 2 weeks they want to do an ultrasound to make sure he isn’t breech. The fear here is that if he is they will want to C-section. Everyone will tell me how it is better for the baby, not a big deal, easier, etc. In my head – a.) I have never had a surgical procedure b.) hate needles c.)never been under anesthesia (local or otherwise) and d.) I’m a hippie at heart and wanted to have a natural childbirth. Hopefully, there will be nothing to worry about. I can’t do much about it right now, so we just have to wait and see. At least we will get to see our little one again in a few weeks!

Well – have to go get some work done before I get out of here..TTYL

Good Morning! Just a reminder to VOTE tomorrow if you haven’t already. Lines will probably be long, so take that into consideration. In other news..it is getting C-o-l-d in Texas! Finally! I cannot wait to go home and make some hot chocloate, make some soup and grilled cheese sandwiches!! Oh, cold = highs in the 60s and lows in the 40s…..hopefully it will continue to cool off….